A Second Chance
by 1NotAGirlyGirl
Summary: After the death of her beloved husband ,Naruto, after a mission gone wrong, Sakura grows into a depressive state and pushes her closest friends and family away. In her dying breath, she wishes to go back in time to fix her mistakes. When she gets that wish, will she repair broken relationships or is it already too late?
1. 1:The Wish

"Why did it have to be this way..." I asked myself. I turned to the right and looked at my family photo. "Why did I have to be this way." I lifted the picture frame and put it near my face. My fingers caressed the glass holding the picture in place.

"I really fucked up huh?" I chuckled. My friends...family...gone. And it's all my fault. I pushed them away when I all they were doing was trying to help. Now when I need them the most, they're not around.

"And it's all because of me..." I took a deep sigh and sunk into my chair even more.

I put my finger upon my deceased husband's face and managed to crack a smile. 'He was my everything. It was like nothing could ever separate us.'

Nothing except death

The very thought of the word death put a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't always dislike the idea of death because I knew it was coming. I've came face to face and cheated death many times in my prime being a Shinobi. But when he died...

Tears form at the corner of my eyes every time I think back to that faithful moment in the woods. It was supposed to be our very last mission. I guess it was in a way...

After he died, I became a depressing mess. All I wanted to do was be alone which made matters worse. I was so selfish back then only thinking about my feelings and how I felt so much that I neglected my children's feelings. They were grieving too. They lost him too. So why was I acting like they didn't understand?

"Stupid."

I regretted my actions so much. While my kids were healing together, I was alone. Pushing my pride and joy further and further away. How could I be such a terribly selfish person? What kind of mother am I?

I let the picture drop into my lap and look up into the ceiling. I could feel myself getting weaker by the days and I knew that my time was coming to an end. All alone. In a cold and lonely house.

How tragic.

I closed my eyes and managed to get a few words out of this rigid and old body. "My only wish is that...I could...I could go back in time. Where it went wrong... I just want my friends and family back.

And went that, I spoke my final breath and gave in to the darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke to birds flying and chirping peacefully around me. I slowly sat up taking in the scenery for myself.

"So beautiful..." I said in awe.

The atmosphere felt... light. Like I had all of my worries just gone. Just like that. I was surrounded by fluffy pure white clouds and a breathtakingly bright baby blue sky. I got up to my feet and took a few steps forward.

"So this is what heaven looks like..."

"So I see you're taking a liking here huh?"

I froze in place after hearing that familiar voice. That bright and cherry voice. My husband's voice. I quickly turned around and almost broke down crying. It was my loving husband Naruto five feet away from me. I dashed into my husband's arms, squeezing him like never before.

"It's you! It's really you!" I exclaimed.

"It's me Sakura-chan. I've missed you..." He said.

"I've missed you too..." We separated and looked into each other's eyes. His eyes were as vibrant as the day I met him. We closed the gap between us with a loving and passionate kiss. Oh how much I've missed his lips. After a few moments, we parted and sat down, still looking into each other's eyes.

"I'm so glad you're here with me again... You have no idea how much I've longed for this moment..."

"I feel the same way... I've waited for you so long to be here with me." He kissed my forehead and graped on to my hands. "But...we need to talk."

I was confused. 'Talk'? What did he mean by 'talk'?

"Talk about what?" I genuinely asked.

"About what you said...before you died."

"My...my wish?"

"Yes. You wished you could go back and make amends with our friends and family. Before all went wrong?" He said.

"Yes I said that but...wait you think I could..."

"Quite possibly yes." Naruto confirmed

I removed my hands from his gentle grip and covered my mouth in shock. I could go back and make this right! I can go a right my wrongs!

'But what about Naruto?'

I look to my husband uncovering my lips. "I have a choice to make. Don't I." I asked rather plainly.

"Yes. Either go back in time and right your wrongs or," he grabbed my hands again and brought them up to his lips giving them a gentle kiss. "Stay here with me."

"I just died and I still have to make hard choices. Ain't that bout a bitch?" I chuckled dryly.

On one hand, I had the love of my life back into my arms again. I could be with him for as long as I wanted! But my family... I know what I need to do.

"I love you so much Naruto...but I can't leave our family broken like this. I choose to go back!" I declared. Naruto smiled brightly and hugged me tight surprising me.

"I respect your decision Sakura-chan. I'll be waiting and watching you. I love you." He said.

"I love you too." He caressed my cheeks and kissed me. Then everything went blank.


	2. 2

**"None of you understand!"** I unconsciously yell at my now small children. I quickly regretted what I screamed out in anger and cover my mouth. I see my kids' faces and the anger I feel quickly disperse only leaving shame and regret I'm my body.

"N-wait I-I didn't mean to-" I try to say but ultimately failed.

"No mother," my second oldest child Hanami puts you her hand. "We know exactly what you mean..." The expression upon her face was filled with rage. Which was justified. "... I'm going to my room." And with that, she left, running to her room ,with my youngest child Arashi in her arms. Both of them had tears in their eyes.

Tears I caused...

I look over to my oldest son and immediately lock eyes with him.

"Shina-chan I..."

His face read not anger. Not sadness. But disappointment. The hole in my heart widen even more looking at him.

His lips moved as if he wanted to say something but decided not to.

"Shina-chan please...say something!" I pleaded with him grabbing him gently by the shoulders. He shook my touch off of him and back away slowly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You're...you're not my mother. My mother would never say something so insensitive and...and selfish to her own flesh and blood! Let me know when the real Uzumaki Sakura comes back..." He said and with that, he went to go comfort his siblings.

I stood there in shock of my actions. How could I do that my family? What came over me in that moment? Anger? Sadness? Grief?

'It doesn't matter!'

No matter what I was feeling, there was no reason to say those things to my kids. They lost just as much as me and yet...

"I'm a selfish piece of shit."

I slide down the wall. I put my knees to my chest and hold my head down in shame.

'How the fuck am I gonna fix this shit?!' I thought. 'Its worse than what I remember...'


	3. 3

Dreaming~

"You're not my mother!" Shina-chan stated.

"Y-You don't mean that. You don't...do you shina-chan?" I stumbled over my words.

"I hate you!" Yelled my daughter.

"Hanami.."

"W-Why mommy?" Cried my youngest.

"Arashi-chan m-mommy didn't mean that! Mommy loves you! I love all of you!" I tried to say with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I tried to reach out to them but as soon as I touched them, they faxed out of my touch. As if their bodies evaporated.

"No! Please! C-Come back! ...Please come back..." I managed to choke up.

Dream over~

I gasped and sat up in a hurry. My chest felt heavier than before and noticed I was breathing hard.

'That dream... That...nightmare was...' I tried to push the thought to the back of my mind and whiped the sweat from the top of my forehead. I carefully got out of bed, still a bit dizzy from that nightmare, and made my way over to my sink. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. As I washed my face, I stopped for a moment to watch my reflection.

' What are you doing?' my self-conscious was talking. ' You know you can't get them back. You should've stayed up there with the love of your life. Clown!'

"I...shut up. I can get them back. I...have to." I replied.

' Yeah right! We'll just see about that...'

I scoffed at my self-conscious throwing down my wash cloth in the process and made my way to the kitchen. As I made my way, I stopped right in front of my kids' side of the hallway and looked on as the memories of yesterday's fight came flooding back to me. I gripped my fist again and turned away.

"I can't think about what I did forever! I have think about how to fix all this pain I caused!" I mumbled to myself.

I pulled out some pots and pans and prepared myself to make breakfast for my kids.

'Maybe I can make amends before they go to school?'

About time I was done, it was time for the kids to wake up. So I set the table for all four of us and sat their food in their respective places. I made them their favorite breakfast which was pancakes, scrambled eggs with extra cheese, and some turkey bacon. Hopefully that'll cheer them up a bit. As I was preparing their drinks, I heard their door open and little footsteps coming down get hall. I prepared myself and took a quick breath and closed the refrigerator door, facing them.

"Ah g-good morning! D-Did you sleep well?" I curse myself for stumbling so much.

"...Morning." was all that came from Hanami. She didn't even acknowledge me. She just... nevermind.

Morning mommy!" Little Arashi said. It looks like he forgot all about last night. I secretly sigh in relief.

'Thank God for six year old's memories.'

Shinachiku just gave me a wave and a half smile. Obviously, he was still disappointed in me. I secretly cursed myself for my actions and deliver their drinks.

"Here you go. We..don't have anymore apple juice. Sorry Hanami." I said finally sitting at the table.

"It's ok. I don't want it anyways..." She said, still not looking up at me. I was a little upset but pushed my feelings down.

'That's how we got here in the first place.'

"Shina-chan, I'll be picking you up from school today." I slightly smiled at him but he didn't return it which caused me to look down again.

"Actually, I'm gonna hang out with Shikadi after school. We got a... school project together so..."

"Oh that's fine! I'll just pick you up from house so-"

"No thanks. Ah I know how to get around. Trust me. ...Thanks though."

"Oh...ok... I trust you.." I said.

The awkwardness in the room was so thick that you could cut it in half. I tried to soften it up by turning my attention back to Hanami.

"Well since your brother is fifteen now, I guess I'll have to stop babying him huh? Would you like me to pick you up Hanami?"

"No thanks." She refused in a quiet but annoyed voice.

"Really? Because-"

"I said no thanks." She said a little more ferm and loud.

"Hanami..." Shina-chan turned to look at her.

"What!" She looked over to him. He gave her some type of look whiched caused her to sign loudly and closer her eyes. She looked back at me with an annoyed expression. "I'm sorry Mom. It's just..."

"Hanami..."

"I...gotta go. I'll see you later on today. Bye." She got up, grabbed her stuff, and headed out the door

"Hanami wait!" He stood up to get her but I called out to him.

"Let her go. She needs space..." I said. He looked at me with a sift look in his eyes and slowly sat back down.

"No. Go on to school but...I wanna talk with you. But only when you're ready..." I stated. He said nothing and shook his head in understanding and followed suit.

"Shit..." I whispered. I put my face in my hand and began to cry once again. Then I felt small fingers frip my hands. I slowly lift my hands from my face and come face to face with a concerned Arashi.

"Mommy don't cry. It'll be ok." He said. I smiled at him and picked him up from his chair and put him into my arms.

"Arashi, do you remember what happened last night? What...what I said?" I ask. He nodes his head yes.

"You know that mommy didn't mean those things right? Mommy loves you so much. Don't you ever forget it!" I choke up.

"I know mommy." He says and hugs me. I was surprised by this action considering this is the first time he's hugged me in almost twenty-five years. More tears flow's down my eyes as I hug him back tightly.

"Thank you for knowing this!" I cried. "Thank you...!"

Remember guys, always apologize. Don't be too big of a person to do that. ~Author C


	4. 4

After wrapping up the food, putting them up, and washing a few dishes, I went to my room to change. I wanted to see my friends. Specifically my close friend Ino. Before going back in time, we had falling out a few years after Naruto died. Now that I think about it, the falling out was my fault. While she reached out and respected my need for space, I was a total bitch to her.

"Not this time..."

"Not this time what?" A little voice said.

I gasped a little and turn towards my door. "Arashi-chan! N-Nothing. Mommy's just talking. But what do you think about my clothes? Do you like them?" I had on a long red shirt dress with my navel showing and some white pants. I had my long hair in a low ponytail and put on a red headband to keep my hair from falling down into my face.

He gave me a thumbs up and sat on my bed.

"Why thank you, sir. You got your shoes?" I ask. He handed me his shoes and I put on.

I was planning on taking him with me so we can spend some time with each other, even though he's supposed to be at school right now.

"Come on let's go." I hold out my hand. He jumps off the bed and clasps my hand with his.

As I roamed down the familiar dirt trail formed throughout the village, I found myself thinking back to the times my closest friends and I would spend our time here. Just walking and talking...

I miss it.

I snapped out of my thoughts once I realized where my feet had taken me. I guess they knew exactly where to start first huh? I took a breath and entered into the very popular flower shop.

Ding!

"Oh hello and welcome to the very popular Yakamana flower shop!" The familiar voice said with her back turned to me. "How may we-" She stopped talking as soon as she faced me. I nervously shifted my leg weight and gave a little wave out of embarrassment.

"S-Sakura...?"

"Hello, Ino-chan..."


	5. 5

Auntie Ino!" Arashi-chan shouted, fighting to get out of my arms to get to his beloved auntie. I didn't fight him on it so I put him down and watched as he clumsily ran into my best friend's arms.

Ino quickly wrapped her arms around Arashi and picked him up. "Arashi-chan! Hello! Aren't you supposed to be in school?" She asked.

"Yes but mom wanted to spend some time with me." He said. He leaned into her ear and whispered something I couldn't hear. "She's been acting kind of weird since yesterday but don't tell her I said that..."

Feeling out of place, I placed my attention anywhere except those two.

'Looking at them reminds me how much of a bad mother I have been before.' I clench my teeth and look down. 'But that's all in the past! Not this time! Not ever!'

"Sakura-chan."

Ino's voice ripped me of my thoughts and to be perfectly honest, I was a little grateful. She was still holding Arashi in her arms, him looking quite comfortable with her. It made me a little jealous. A lot jealous.

"Y-Yes?" I answered.

She hesitated but walked towards me with a look in her eye. It wasn't anger nor was it pity. It was...shock? I couldn't tell really.

She put Arashi down and lowered herself to his level. "Hey um, mommy and I have to talk but Keiski is upstairs. I'm sure she'd be happy to see you." She stated.

He nodded his head and made his way up to her daughter's room. As soon as he was out of sight, Ino turned towards me. She was about to speak but I beat her to it.

'She deserves an explanation.'

"B-Before you say anything, I just wanna say that I am so so sorry for shutting you out. I never should have done that. I was hurt and made some selfish decisions and I'm so sorry!" I felt tears form in the corners if my eyes. " I-I don't know if you'll forgive me but-"

My rambling was interrupted by Ino surprising me with a tight hug. "Sakura-san..." She said in a shaky voice. I could tell that she was crying which made my tears form even more. "...I forgive you...I'm just glad you're back..." She cried.

Those words were like a wave of relief over my mental and physical state and at that point, I just let everything go. The tears, the hurt, the pain...everything.

"I missed you too..."

"And that's what happened..." I took a sip of my coffee Ino made for me. I decided to tell her about what happened last night and this morning.

"Oh man... that's..."

"I know. I'm such a piece of shit for saying that that."

"Yeah that was a shitty thing to say." Ino agreed.

"You're not helping..." I murmured into my mug.

"Well, it was. They lost a father as well as a close friend so early on into their lives. They're hurting Sakura-san..."

"I know. I know... I-I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to talk to each of them one on one because..." I thought back to the future I came back from. "Because, in a dream, I saw that I pushed everybody away. Especially my children and...and I don't want that to happen..."

"Mmmm. Look I don't really know much on what to do but I'll tell you this." She clasped my hand into hers and looked me dead in my eyes. "Your children love you so much and you love them. The best way to approach this is to first, give them some space. I think it's important for them to think about the situation and to let them breathe. They're not going to listen to you if you don't give them time."

"I know that but..."

"But what?" She asked. I bit my lip and broke eye contact.

"But...what if in that time, it's too late? What if I already fucked it all up? What if-" I was interrupted yet again by her cupping my face, forcing me to look at her.

"There's no what if's! This is now Sakura! Now! And if you don't show that you're sorry and try to talk to them, that's when you worry! But not right now!"

I looked down for a moment but quickly regained contact with her. I smiled brightly at her, believing in her words. "You're right Ino-san! Thank you so much for this!" I said pulling her in for a hug.

"You're welcome..."

We separated and helped each other up from the glass table.

"Arashi-chan! Come on it's time to go!" I called out.

"Ok!" He yelled back. A few minutes later, he ran down the steps along with Keiski.

"Hi, Auntie Sakura!" She said. I waved at her and picked up Arashi.

"Thanks again Ino-san. I really appreciate it. And I really missed this..." I said as she walked me towards my door.

"I did as well. Now, don't disappear on me again hm?" She playfully poked at me.

"I won't. I promise..."


	6. 6

'I think Ino is right; I have to give them space to think. I can't just talk to them now. Especially not after this morning...'

I look downward at Arashi sleeping soundly in my arms. I smile and kiss his forehead. "I'll never let you go..."

As I passed shops in the heart of the village, I found myself in front of a Solon. I took some of my waist length hair in my hands and looked back at the Solon sign.

"I think it's time for a change." I said to myself and ultimately went in. I needed to shed off the negativity that I've been inhabiting for years and that first and best step is to cut my hair. I wanted to become...like new.

"Hi, welcome-oh! Mrs. Uzumaki w-welcome!" The girl at the front desk named Akira greeted.

"Ah, it has been a while huh? I see you guys changed your place. In the past, I remembered it was more orange and brown but now, it's just pure white. I like it..."

"Thank you! Ah so are you here for a cut? Your hair has grown out so beautifully." She complimented.

"Thank you but...yes I have decided to get a cut. It's... time for a change." I answered.

"Well, I think that's wonderful. Here I'll get you a chair for you and little Arashi-chan." She said. Arashi was still asleep in my arms.

"Thank you Akira-san. I really appreciate it."

"No problem! Here you go." Akira placed a comfortable looking chair in front of my intended chair. I gently set him on to the hair, careful not to wake him. The chair seemed comfortable enough for him to not wake up. I sighed in relief and took my own seat.

"So Mrs. Uzumaki, what kind of style would you like to have? Just cut the ends or..."

"I would like to have short hair. Do you remember what my hair looked like before?"

"Oh yes, ma'am! I'll get right on that!" Akira declared. I thanked her and let her start on my hair.

"Ok! I'm done! You might wanna close your eyes before I turn you towards the mirror ok?"

"Ah sure." I giggled and closed my eyes. I felt her slowly turn my chair to face the chair. I was anxious to open my eyes to look so once she told me I could, I opened my eyes so wide.

*Gasp* "Oh my!"

I got up slowly and approached the mirror and looked at it closely. I ran my hand through my new short bob.

"Do you like it?" I heard her ask.

"This...I..." I couldn't make out any words. I felt all the weight off my shoulders disappear. All the grief, bitterness, and negativity are all gone with every last snip. For the first time in a long time, I truly felt... alive."

I turned towards her and embraced her in a hug so tight. "Thank you! Thank you so much for this!" I shakily said. I separated from her and looked her in her eyes, smiling from ear to ear. "I feel like a new woman! I don't know how to thank you..."

"No need! This is on the house! And I'm glad you like it!" She stated.

"Mommy? What happened to your hair?" I heard my baby say. I turned towards him and smile. It looks like our commotion woke him up. I walk toward him and pick him up in my arms.

"Mommy just wanted a change. Do you like it?" I asked him. He put his little hands through my hair my hair and nodded yes. "I'm glad you do." I giggled.

I turned back to Akira and waved goodbye. "Bye Akira-san! Say bye Arashi-chan." He shyly waved goodbye.

"Goodbye!"

As we were walking home, Arashi asked me a question.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Are you gonna make up with Shina-chan and Hanami-Chan?"

"...Yes, I intend to. Why do you ask?"

"I heard you and auntie talking and you were crying and talking about them..."

"Oh...you heard huh?" I sighed. "Well I want to, but I can't just go talk to them now. They need to cool off and think as I did. I love them so much and I hope you and them know that..."

"They know mommy. At least I do."

"That makes me feel a little bit better... Now, what do you want for dinner?"

"Yakitori!" He answered.

"Ok, Yakitori it is!"


	7. 7

Hours passed and soon enough, the kids were coming home just in time for dinner. The first to walk through the door was surprisingly Hanami.

"Hello, Hanami. How was school?" I asked.

"It was fine." Said closing the door. She looked at me for a few seconds but quickly looked away.

"Dammit.'

"Hair looks nice." Before I could reply, she was already headed for her room.

"Ok..." I said under my breath. "She's still mad at me..."

Right after her, Shinachiku walked into the door.

"Hello, Shina-chan. Ah, how was school today?" I asked for the second time.

"It was fine. I have homework so..." He said closing the door.

"O-Oh ok go ahead but tell your sister that dinner is almost finished. We're having Yakatori, requested by your brother.

Ok, I'll tell-whoa. Y-Your hair..."

"Oh yeah. I ah decided it was time for a change hehe."

"It looks nice..."

Thanks..." That same awkward feeling from this morning settled once again in the atmosphere. I hated this feeling so much. I just wish it'd go away sooner...

"Well, I have to go do...homework. I'll see you at dinner..." He said and left.

After he was out of sight, I leaned towards the countertop and took a breath. 'At least we had a conversation...that's an improvement from this morning.'

A few minutes later, dinner was ready so I set the table up. I fixed their food in their eating places and fixed them their drinks. I decided to go to their room instead of calling out for them. As I got closer, I could hear them talking... about me? I leaned my ear against the door so I could hear better.

"I don't why she's acting so weird all of sudden. First, she was crying all the time, then she yelled at us yesterday, and now she's acting like she's sincere about it. I'm not stupid Shinachiku." I heard Hanami said.

"Hanami..." I mumbled

"How do you know that she isn't? Maybe she...maybe she realized she was wrong yesterday and is trying to better the situation...?" I heard Shinachiku say.

'Yes! that's exactly what I'm trying to to do!'

"Then how come she hasn't apologized yet? Hm?" She questioned.

"First of all, we just got to the house. Plus, I think she's giving us some space which is the right thing to do considering what you did this morning..." He said.

"...I guess. I just..." I heard her sigh. "I just hope that she realizes and apologize soon..."

"I hope so too..."

I pulled away from the door frame. I wiped the stray tears falling from my eyes and headed back towards the kitchen.

'Did this similar conversation happen in the past? Did they really wait for me to apologize?' I thought.

I grabbed a paper towel, dried my eyes, and called the kids for dinner.

"K-Kids," my voice cracked in the process. "Dinner's ready!"

All of them came out and took their seats. I helped Arashi into his little booster seat and sat down myself. There was so much tension so I decided to strike up a conversation.

"So uh I visited your aunt Ino today."

"Oh yeah?" Hanami said sounding the least interested.

"Yeah, we caught up together. It's been such a long time since we've seen each other so I just thought I'd visit her..."

"That's cool I guess..." She said.

I turned my attention to Shinachiku "So Shina-chan, what kind of homework did you have? Do you need ant help?"

"No, but I'll let you know." He said giving me a quick fake smile.

"Ah ok..."

The rest of the dinner was quiet and full of tension. Hanami was the first to finish her food and put her dishes in the sink. Obviously, from the conversation I overheard and her actions, she still needed time.

The second to finish was Arashi-chan who made his way over the playroom after finishing his portion of the meal.

All that was left at the table was Shinachiku and I. I took this opportunity to have a talk with him.

"Shina-chan, do you think we can talk?"

He looked up from eating his food and had shocked expression on his face. "Y-Yeah sure..."

A wave of relief overflowed my body. He really wants to talk.

"I don't know how to start this but...first I just wanna say that I'm so so sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting before then. You guys didn't deserve to be yelled at, especially like that. I was knee-deep in grief and my state of mind wasn't right at all and I'm sorry you all had to witness and experience that. It was very selfish of me to say that you don't know what it's like because you do. You lost a father. Someone just as meaningful as a husband..." I said. I heard little sniffles and looked over to him, making eye contact.

"Mom..." I wiped the tears the were gently falling. "I forgive you. And I'm sorry I said those things-"

"No. Don't apologize for what you've said. I deserved that. You had every right to be upset and disappointed with me." I reassured. He nodded his head and pulled in for a hug which surprised me.

"Thank you for realizing your mistakes and apologizing." He said.

"Thank you for forgiving me," I said hugging him tighter. A minute later, we separated from each other's arms.

"So when are you going to talk to Hanami?" He asked.

"When she's ready. And by the looks of it, not right now. I don't want to make matters worse by coming in too premature." I explained

"You're going to make it worse if you wait any longer. You need to talk to her. She's the most hurt by this considering she was the closest with Dad. And your words..."

"I know. I know... I'll try to get through to her tomorrow. It's Saturday tomorrow so I'll see if I can talk to her in the morning."

"Thanks." He said getting up putting his dishes in the sink. He walked back over to me and gave me a hug. "Goodnight Mom. Love you..."

"I love you too..." I suddenly giving him a peck and the cheek and letting him go.

'That went well...'


	8. 8

Riiing~

Riiing~

I slapped my hand on the snooze button and slowly removed the bed sheets from my head. "What time it?"

6:05 AM

I groan once again and groggily got up to do my daily hygiene. As I washed my face, I found myself thinking back to last night. Last night's talk with Shinachiku came back to me in an instant. I found myself cheesing so hard that I thought I would get lock jawed.

After I was done, I put on my robe and slippers and headed to the kitchen. 'I might as well eat since I'm up. The kids don't wake up till 8 anyways...' I thought.

I opened my door and roamed down the hallway which leads to the kitchen and living room. As I entered the kitchen, I turned on the light and got out the ingredients to make an omelet. As I was searching for a pan, a voice startled me which caused me to jolt you from the bottom cabinets. I quickly turned over to the source and exhaled a breath of relief.

"Jesus Hanami you scared me!" I whispered shouted.

"Sorry." She said and walked past me to the cereal cabinet.

"Well since you're up, you want some eggs? Specifically an omelet?" I asked her giving her a small smile.

"No thanks. I'll just have so fruit loops instead..." She rejected.

"You sure? I mean cereal isn't gonna fill you up-"

"I'm sure." She said fixing her cereal bowl and herself at the dinner table. "Thanks though..."

"Ok... I guess we'll just have breakfast together then huh?" I said shooting her another smile. This time, I looked away in time not to see her reaction.

'This is my chance!'

After fixing my plate, I sat down in front of my daughter and began to eat. We sat in silence for a few minutes, which wasn't painfully awkward or pleasant for a change.

"So Hanami-"

"Why did you say that?" She interjected.

"What?" I was a little confused.

"Why did you say that about Dad?" She repeated herself with a hint of annoyance.

"Hanami I...I don't know. My selfish emotions took over at the moment-"

"Yeah but..." She looked me straight in the eyes. "You knew how much Dad meant to us. Meant to me and...you just said that we don't understand. It just made me feel like since we didn't have a relationship with him like you did, our feelings were invalid..."

"Honey your feelings are never invalid. Especially when it pertains to you and or your involved somehow. I'm so sorry for making you feel like your feelings weren't important enough and I'm sorry about the way I've been acting before Thursday. I've been a lousy mother but I promise you I'm gonna do better this time." I said.

Small amounts of tears stained her cheeks as a smile crept upon her face. "Thank you for realizing your mistake. And I forgive you as well.

"Thank you." I smiled back at her. "Now after we're eating, how about we watch those Saturday morning shows you go on and on about hm?" I suggested. She nodded happily and continued to at her food as did I. After finishing our food, we put our dishes in the sink and walked over to the coach. We turned on the TV and grabbed a cover and cuddled together watching her shows.

'Thank God for giving me a second chance...'


	9. End of Part 1: The Wish

part two coming next month


	10. 9

It's been three weeks since the wish. Since I managed to save my family from falling apart. This wish... really is something huh?

I chuckled to myself. I put the tea filled the cup to my lips and took a sip. Shinachiku, Hanami, and Arashi were all laying down with me sleeping. I looked down at them leaning their heads against me.

"My precious children..."

I managed to put my family back together before it was too late.

My eye caught the photo of my former close friends all huddled up in one group. I smiled and picked it up.

Everyone looked so happy that day.

In my past life, everyone moved on without me. It wasn't like they didn't try to help me through my grief and stubbornness but...I threw them and our friendship aside. All I wanted was my beloved to come back. Deep down I knew I was wrong but I didn't care. All I really wanted was to suffer until I see him again...

But now that's not my desire. My desire is to ultimately change my fate.

"It's time for reconciliation."


	11. 10

The crisp spring wind blew right past me. I felt the cool hair hit my skin which gave me temporary goosebumps. I love this type of feeling. Not too hot not too cold, just right.

I wanted to roam the streets of Konoha to reminisce the memories I had. It's been at least tfifteen-twenty years since I've walked down this road? Yet, it was as if nothing had changed.

'Of course, nothing's changed. I'm in the past.'

But still...

I as walked, the villagers looked in my direction, surprised at my sudden public appearance. Some even started. I couldn't blame them, It has been four years. I mean what would you do if the window of your deceased former leader suddenly roamed through your streets? I could hear them whispering to each other.

'Whoa, it's the Hokage's wife!'

'She's actually out that house?'

'Hasn't been four years since she stepped out of that house?'

'I wonder if she's still mourning..'

'I wonder what made Sakura-Sama come out today...'

I'll admit, I was a little embarrassed and insecure. Before coming out today, I thought up all these horrible scenarios that could happen but it's not so bad. Not nearly as bad.

'Maybe I can make it through this market run. What was I supposed to be getting again?' I pondered?

I reached down into my pocket and pulled out the crinkly paper. 'Let's see... Eggs, wheat bread, milk, apples, strawberries, peaches, rice, some meat, and vegan meat.' I looked over it one more time before putting it back into my back pocket and continued on.

"Alright then."

When I finally arrived at the market place, I was shocked to sew how many people were here and the number of shops set up.

'I don't remember the market place being this full back then. Gosh has it really been that long that my memories are not so much dependable?' I question myself. 'No matter, I'll just get what I need and go.'

As soon as I walked in, out of the corner of my eye, I spot a man hanging out baskets. I am getting a lot today so I might as well.

"Thanks for the bags Ito-san! Enjoy your day now!" an elderly woman said to the man.

"You too Mrs. Mei!, " he waved back and turned back to his bags. "Hello, ma'am, would you like a-oh! Mrs. Uzumaki-Sama! W-What a surprise!" Ito said looking a bit taken aback.

"Hello, Mr. Ito. I presume that is your name?"

"Ah yes! Ito Sakurai is my full name!" he proclaimed.

"Oh? Well, it's very nice to meet you, Mr. Ito." I held out my hand for him to shake but he looked around nervously. "Oh? What's wrong?"

'Does he not want to shake my hand?'

"Oh Mrs. Uzumaki-Sama, don't take my nervousness the wrong way! But it's just...im a bit flustered by your sudden appearance. It's just that it's been so long since the death of-oh wait! I'm sorry I brought up that painful memory! Please forgive me!" Mr. Ito bowed and begged.

"No no Mr. Ito, it's quite alright. I understand your nervousness by my appearance. It has been four years since I've been in public. Please lift yourself up." I tried to reassure.

"Y-Yes ma'am! ...Its really been four years since your last appearance hm? I wonder, and please forgive me for asking, but I wonder what made you come out to the public today? Food? Usually, I see your son and daughter getting groceries..." He asked me.

"Mmm to tell you the truth, I've been feeling...lighter that past few weeks. It's as if the pain, hurt, grief, all of it is just shifting off my shoulders at once. It's slowly going but... I can feel it that things are getting better. That I have better days ahead. Do you know what I mean?"

"I quite do actually. You see, when my wife died, it was as if I didn't want to eat, sleep, and at some point, I didn't have the will to live. But I was reminded of something more important in my life to live for. And that was my granddaughter. All she had in this world was me and I just couldn't bear to fail her. So I picked myself up and I did everything I could to help the pain. Eventually, I found my days getting better the more I spent time with my granddaughter. That was a long time ago though but guess we're kind of similar in a way, right?"

"Absolutely. In fact, we even have the same motivations. For me, it's my kids. I...had a dream-no more like a nightmare- about me being all alone all because I pushed everyone around me away. It was such an awful...awful dream. That's why I'm trying to make things better than that...that dream of mine."

"You know Mrs. Uzumaki-Sama, I think that's great that you want to fix everything before its too late. I'm glad you're feeling much better. But enough about this! I'm sorry talked you into telling and listening to the ranting of an old header like me. You're here for groceries right? How many bags do you need? He asked.

" No no, I thank you actually. I haven't been able to talk to anyone who related this much to my situation, who understood where I'm coming from? So I thank you. And I'll take two bags please."

Mr. Ito pulled out two long brown bags and handed them to her. "That'll be fifty cents."

I gave him the change and thanked.

"Thank you, Mr. Ito. For everything. I really value our talk."

"I did as well! Thank you for stopping by! Enjoy your day!"

I stroll further and further down the market place, passing my the clothing and yarn shops..As I walked by, I could feel the stares and hear the whispers of some of the villagers. At this point, I'm kind of feeling uneasy with all the eyes on me. Since id been gone so long, I thought the villagers wouldn't care as much but it would seem my unreliable memories had forgotten, I'm the deceased Hokage's wife. I'm also head, well used to be, head of Konoha's Medical program and head of the village's hospital.

"Of course they'd care"

My pace quickened as I passed more and more shops. I wanted to just get my intended items and go so badly. Why did they have to out the food shops in the back?

I kept at my fast pace and walked by them as if I didn't notice it. My heart started to beat so fast. My mind was too focused on the villagers that I wasn't really paying attention. I paid the priced for this once I bumped into someone who'd been carrying their groceries. Their bag dropped onto the dirt road. I quickly put back what little spilled out and tried to apologise.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying as much attention as I should've. I'm very sorry about that." I put what was left in the brown bag and got up to and it to the person.

"N-No it's alright. Thank you for helping me."

I was about to turn to face them but...that voice...

'Could it be?'

I turned around to them. Upon seeing them, I gasped.

Once they looked at me, they gasped as well.

"Sakura-san?"

"...Hinata-san... Hi."


	12. 11

"Hinata-san, I wasn't expecting to run into you, especially like this..." I said. I handed her back to her. "I'm sorry by the way, I really didn't see you."

"N-No no, it's alright Sakura-san. I'm just...shocked to see you. N-Not that it's not a good thing but it's been so long..."

"Heh yeah. You'd probably thought I was dead." I joked trying to make the situation less awkward but unfortunately, it did the opposite.

"Y-Yeah..."

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, which felt like years before she spoke again.

"Uhm speaking of being out...what brings you here? Clothes shopping? Groceries?"

"Groceries! I was just on my way to finish off my list of errands and getting food was last on the list. You?"

"O-Oh same as you! I find myself coming here more and more the bigger the kids get." She giggled.

Oh right. I had completely forgotten about Hinata having kids. Damn...

"Oh? How are they? Aren't they what seven and ten?" I asked.

"A-Actually eight and twelve." She corrected me. My face heated up and turn a deep pink. Sure it's been four years but forgetting how old one of your closest friend's kids' age when you were there for both births? Talk about embarrassing...

"R-Right! S-Sorry sorry!"

'Great job Sakura. First time seeing one of your best friends and you forget their kids' ages.'

"No, it's ok! You had your own thing going on, it's okay r-really! A-Anyways, they're fine. My youngest Hani is growing into her own but she's taking after her father. My oldest Hisoka, on the other hand, is really interested in learning more about how to control his Byakugan. He wants to be strong like Kiba-kun and me." She explains.

"Oh? Really? Well, I'm glad you guys are doing well."

"Thank you. Um...what about you Sakura-san? Are you...okay?" She asked.

I one what she was actually asking. About my mental health. So far, I guess I would say

"Just fine. I act haven't had any attacks or nightmares in some time. I guess that's one I'd the reasons you see me here today hehe."

"O-Oh! That's great! I-I'm so glad you're feeling better!"

I smiled warmly at her. I admit I missed the Hyuuga heir. She was always so sweet. Back then, after Naruto died, she, along with Ino, was the main people who tried their hardest to help me. Even after the hurtful things I've said, she was still there. Eventually, she reluctantly gave up on me. She had a family of her own so I couldn't blame anyone but myself.

"You know Sakura-San, even though it's been a while since I've seen you, I still think about you and how you're doing... "

Hinata-san..."

"I just...d-don't want you to think I abandoned you at your lowest. I-Its just that I had a family of my own and I was neglecting them and-"

I interrupted her before she could continue. "Hinata," both of my hands grasped her shoulders. I looked her straight into her nearly white eyes. "It's ok. I don't resent you for leaving me. It's ok."

"Sakura-san..."

"You were right to do what you did! As you said, you had a family if your own. Plus, I was a bitch too and everybody else who tried to help me. I should be the one apologizing, not you..." I released my grip from her shoulders and let out a small sigh. "Hinata, please understa-"

I was suddenly embraced by her. I could feel her body shaking and her small whimpers.

"T-Thank you! Thank you..." After a few moments, she pulled herself from me and whipped her tears. "I was afraid that you hated me. But now that I know, I feel like a huge weight just shifted from my shoulders."

"Talking to you, right now, I feel the same way... This...burden being lifted off of my chest. Though there's still much more guilt weighing on me, this is a start." I explained.

Hinata's widen at the mention of my guilt. "Guilt? Sakura-san, what do you mean?"

"Well, it's actually a long story-"

"That's fine by me! I...I want to help remove this guilt you have. Whatever it may be."

"Hinata-"

"H-How about this, after grocery shopping, we could stop by my place.! The kids are at school and Kiba-kun is away on a small mission. You could tell me then."

She seemed really persistent in helping me. Damn, I don't deserve this woman.

Alright. Let's go."

Talking to Hinata about my 'nightmare' could probably help me. I could make amends with her and find out what the others are up to these days I'm the process. Yeah...this could actually work...


	13. 12

After buying everything on my grocery list, Hinata-san and I went to our houses to put up the food. She'd told me afterward, I was welcome to come over. When I accepted, she seemed so happy. That smile she had... I haven't seen it in years. I'm glad that I was the one to cause it.

After putting the food up, I wrote a note on the fridge letting the kids know that I got the groceries and where I would be if I were to come home late. I stuck the note under a magnet and left.

Hinata's house wasn't far of a walk. But it was far enough for me to think this through. There are so many scenarios goings through my head about how this whole thing could go. And most of them are bad.

How could I explain to her my sudden change of heart? How can I answer some of her questions if she has any? Hopefully doesn't.

'Pfft, she totally has questions!'

A small sigh escaped my lips. My doubts and fears are starting to come to light. I could feel and hear my heartbeat speeding up rainy the more I think about it. I really thought I was ready to rekindle my relationships but the anxiety is getting to be too much.

I stopped confront of Hinata's house staring at her door. I felt my body heating up. My hands became sweaty and clammy. I took it and breathed out air trying to control my shaky breath and raised my hand shaky to knock.

'Am I really ready for all of this? Am I prepared for possible rejection from others? Am I ready to address it...'

My arm fell limp against my side and I turned away from the door. "You're not ready for this Sakura, " I told myself stripping further away from her doorstep. "I-Its just not the right time yeah? She's probably busy cooking anyway! Let's just go-"

Suddenly, the door swung open to Sakura's surprise. Out stepped a concerned apron wearing Hinata.

"S-Sakura-San, are you...are you staying?" she asked in the softest voice. She must've sensed my presence at some point.

I turned to her and immediately felt guilty. She looked so worried over me, as always, and here I was pushing her away again.

'Not again. Not. Like last time.'

"Y-Yes, may I come in?"

A smile of relief plastered her face. "Yes. Please, come in."

She welcomed me into her house and directed me to her sofa. I took a sit as she went into the kitchen to get the tea.

"Your house looks bigger than I remember, Hinata-san." I looked around in awe. There week paintings of her family on the wall.

'Cute.'

I smiled as I looked at the joyous photos. My eyes continued to look until it fell upon a certain photo. I got up and cautiously approached the picture. I felt my smile starting to falter as I got closer.

"W-What did you say Sakura-San? I didn't hear..," she caught me staring at our group photo. "Oh."

"I remember this. It's the picture of us, all of us.It was just after the war... Gosh, I remember it so vividly." an unnoticed stray tear ran down my cheek. "We were so ducking tired that day hehe. Exhausted...but happy. Happy that the war was over. Happy for the future..."

I jumped at Hinata suddenly embracing me.

"Sakura-san, " She said my name in the softest voice. " I know it's hard. I can't imagine what you're going through but I'm here...always."

"...Thank you..."

She poured green tea in both cups and gave one to me.

"Thank you."

She gave me a soft smile and took a sit. I blew on mine before taking a sip as well.

I knew what she was thinking. Back at the market place, I told her that I was fine, but obviously, I wasn't. She probably thinks that I was lying... And I wouldn't blame her. God, I'm so stupid to think that I can handle all of this head on so early! It's been years in the original timeline but I've never confronted my problems, only ran away from them! Maybe...maybe I shouldn't have come. Maybe I should-

"Sakura-san, " her smooth-voice ripped me from my overwhelmingly negative thoughts. "It's okay." she once again reassured me with that sweet smile of her hers.

"R-Right.."

"Now, " she put down both of our teacups, clasped my hands with her and looked me dead in my eyes. "Tell me. What's eating at you? Why...now?"

I bit my low lip and broke contact. What was I gonna tell her?

'My dead husband came to me from heaven and gave me the power to come back to the last and fix things!'

Really?!

"Well... I just...its...complicated."

"What's so complicated? Sakura-san, you can tell me anything."

I chewed at the bottom of my lip trying to find the rights words to explain myself. Moments later, I took in a huge breath and made eye contact once again.

"I... had this dream-nightmare that everybody was gone. Not like dead gone but-"

"Moved on..." she interrupted.

I shook my head yes. "Exactly. You, Ino, my children... Everyone just...gone. That...that dream felt like it went on for years and years. I remember so clearly how it felt. It was as if my body was there but not my soul. Like my spirit died a long time ago and the only that was left was my hollow body. Just waiting to die..."

"T-That's awful! Truly awful!" she exclaimed.

"I-I know! It was as if I was watching my future. ...Which is why I decided to get my life together." a half smile creeped upon my face. "But I think I'm not ready..."

"Sakura-san, listen to me." her firm hands gripped my shoulders. "You are ready. You saw the horrors of what could happen, you know what could happen if you don't act now. Don't give up. Please..." she pleaded to me.

I caught a glimpse of her eyes watering in the corner of her eyes. Was she really this invested?

"Hinata-san-" I tried to say but she shook her head no.

"I... I may not know how it feels to lose your husband... Or to see a vision of a terrible future, but I do know that you are strong! Stronger than anyone I know! You can't give up; you mustn't!"

Hinata was right. I came to far to just throw in the towel and retreat to isolation again. I just gained my children's live and trust back! I won't!

"You're right. I can't give in! I've come to far!" I promptly pulled Hinata in for a hug. "And thank you for the encouragement. You don't know how much I needed that..."

She hugged me back. I could feel her smile on my shoulder. "I'm glad I could help." when we pulled away, her smile slowly fell. I could tell there was something else. "What is it?"

Hinata looked down at her hands and twittled with her fingers. "Well, you mentioned your dream and... I was wondering... Are you still having that other nightmare?" she cautiously asked.

Oh. That dream.

"U-Um that..."

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bring it up! It's just that, it was really prevalent after Naruto-kun died and..."

"No no. It's fine. With everything that's been going on, haven't had that dream in a good few...weeks. I guess that's why I completely forgot about it." I said. It's true, back then, I would barely sleep because of that torture nightmare. Everytime it was something different with the same outcome;

Death.

"O-Oh! Thanks good to hear!" she excitedly clasped her hands together.

"Thank you for asking." I gave her a wide smile before pushing myself off of her couch. "It would seem that it was almost time for the kiss go come home so I should get going."

She got up as well. "Same here. The kids are big eaters so I better get to it."

"Hm? Just like their father?" I joked.

"Exactly. It was hard enough to keep up with Kiba-kun's. Now with his children, its a job." she joked back.

"I can only imagine." giggled

As she walked me out, I let her know her know how grateful I was for the talk. "Thank you for inviting me here. I really appreciate it."

"Oh-Its no problem at all! I'll...see you around. Ok?"

"Don't worry. You will."


	14. 13

As I walked out from the Hyuga compound, I heard a familiar voice along with children approaching. I turned to my left to find Kiba with his two children, Hani and Hisoka.

I could feel my heart pounding through my chest and my breathing was getting a bit short. My anxiety was starting to act up again.

During the time of war, I developed anxiety but it wasn't bad, I only had anxiety attacks when under immense pressure working on a patient on occasion, until my husband's death. Watching him helplessly pass in front of my eyes really messed with my psyche. That attack also caused me to have PTSD but that's a whole other story...

I wasn't ready to face more than one person from my past. I wanted to take it one step at a time. What if I say the wrong things? What if they have a disdain for me for suddenly abandoning our friendship like trash?

What if-

"Sakura-San, is...is that you?"

That low voice ripped me from my thoughts. I caught herself staring him there direction and quickly looked downward.

Danmit

"Sakura-San, that is you," Kiba said catching up to me. "Kids go ahead on inside with Akamaru, I'll be there in a second."

"Ok, papa." The one I presumed to Hani said and both went inside the compound.

"K-Kiba-san, Hi," I say in a low shaky voice. I could feel my palms sweating profusely.

"It's been a long time! What are you doing out here-but you don't have to answer that hehe." He smiled showing his sharpened canine teeth.

"O-Oh, earlier, I went to the marketplace and grabbed a few groceries," I explained. My eyes weren't looking directly at his but I made sure to make him feel like I was. I didn't want to be rude in our first conversation in years...

"Oh? I see you were coming from our house, did you speak to Hinata-chan?"

"Y-Yes we just concluded our conversation. Which reminds me, I have to go and cook dinner!" I nervously half smiled while wiping my sweaty palms on my pants. "M-My kids should be home soon so I-I have to go..."

I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. One person to face was enough. I didn't prepare myself for this!

"W-Wait a moment! Don't just bail like that! It's been years since we last spoke and you're just going to bail...again?" Kiba asked. His tone was filled with disappointment. He was right but...

I took a deep breath trying to relax my breathing and turned back to him.

"I'm...sorry Kiba-san. I'm not trying to leave you again but... It's just..."

"It's just what?" He questioned.

I finally looked into his eyes, tears were staining mine. "It's hard. It was hard enough to face your wife but facing my problems all at the same time is really a lot."

He took a step closer to me. "What do you mean? Are...we your problem? Are we part of the reason you-"

"No! No...never. My problem is facing you all. Just three weeks ago, I just got back on track with my children. Of course, we're still navigating though because it doesn't take a day but... we're on the same page. After, I made a plan for myself to...face you all. One by one. I didn't want to get bombarded because I knew with my anxiety, I couldn't and... And..."

"That's ok." He put his hand on my shoulder as a sign of reassurance. "You forget, I've seen first hand how those attacks are and I don't want you to go through that because of me. I can see your hands clamming up, you're not looking directly at me. If you want to talk again, my number hasn't changed. Whenever you're ready Sakura-San. "

That's right. He was there for my first anxiety attack after the funeral. There were so many people there. I was so deep in my grief, I thought I saw the guy... Kiba was one of the few people who helped calm me down.

"I... Thank you Kiba-san," I bowed and turned to leave. "Oh, and Kiba-san, thank you for being there that day... Without you..."

"No problem. Don't be a stranger now." He said before going inside.

"I won't."

About time I came home, it was close for the kids to becoming he so I prepared a quick dinner of beef ramen for everyone. When everything was finished, they started to pour into the door one after the other.

"Good evening everyone!" They greater me back in unison. "Your dinner is just about ready. Go wash up."

While they prepared themselves, I put out each person's bowl and drinks at their seats. After, everyone, myself included, say and began eating away at the delicious food.

"Mmm! Mom, this is so good! " Arashi exclaimed.

"Yeah, really tasty. I've really missed your cooking." Hanami with a mouth full said.

"Hanami, no talking with your mouth full. And thank you. But I'm sure that your brother did a good job in my place him?"

Both Arashi and Hanami looked away as if they were avoiding the question.

"That food was nothing to be proud of." Hanami Snickers.

"Hey!" Shinachiku calls out from across the table. "You were the main one always praising my cooking skills!"

"I lied." She said very bluntly. "It was only to make you feel better."

"Of course you did," Shinachiku said with a grimace look on his face.

"Oh cut it out you two." I intervened. " Shina-chan, I'm sure your food wasn't that bad."

"Thanks, Mom " he smiled sweetly at me.

These are the moments that I missed out during those years in isolation. I thank God every day for this chance of a do-over. To experience this.

"I missed this..."

"Missed what?" Hanami asked.

I hadn't realized I said my thoughts out loud and was immediately embarrassed. "Oh uh just... thinking out loud hehe. "

"Oh well... we missed this too." She said back, everyone else nodded in agreement.

My mouth grew into a big smile. I picked up a glob of noodles and stuffed them into my mouth. "So, how was school?"

"Mom, no talking with a full mouth!" She mocked. I could only laugh at her.

I love them so much.


	15. 14

After tucking the kids into bed, I got ready for bed myself and made myself a nice warm bath to relax a bit. I filled the tub with bubbles and cut off the water at my preferred amount, stripped myself of my clothed, and sat in the tub. The warm water hitting my skin cause me to get goosebumps and relax.

As I laid in the tub, I let a relaxed sigh escape my lips and fell back against the wall.

It's been so long since I felt this...free. Free if my worries, pain, loneliness...

"Perfect."

After thirty minutes, I washed myself and got out the tub, drained the water, brushed my teeth and hair, washed my face, and put on my night gown. I peeled back my covers and slide into bed trying to make myself comfortable.

"A perfect ending for a decent day. I met with Hinata-san, managed to stay put together with Kiba-san, had dinner with my kids... Today was...good."

As I reminisced on the following day, I thought about Hinata-san's and I conversation. About my dreams. It's been so long since I've had them, since coming back in time. I almost completely forgetten about them. And just how bad they were. I'd wake up screaming so loud, loud enough for him to hear me. To see me. To save me.

I felt myself go from relaxed to...scared? Anxious? It was a feeling I always had before I went to bed. I could never name the exact feeling, but I knew it all too well.

I shifted on to my side.

What if I have that dream again? Sure I haven't had in weeks but now that I think about it...

"Just go to bed Sakura. You'll be fine." I demanded to myself. And with that, I closed my eyes and cleared my mind.

"Sakura."

My eyes fluttered open to see I was still in my room. But it was so dark, the only light shone through was the crack in the door.

I tried to move but...I couldn't? Why couldn't I move? Why can't I talk?! What's going on?!

The room was so quiet, all I could hear was my own heavy breathing. That and my thoughts. This must be what they call sleep paralysis.

Great

"Sakura."

That familiar voice. Naruto?

My eyes darted to my door and there stood my husband. Broken and bloody just like the day he died.

"Sakura...save me Sakura." His shaky arm reached towards me. The small light in the room highlighted his shadowy figure more and more as he stepped closer.

"Why...why did you leave me, Sakura?"His voice was thick and kind of strained.

All I could think of was to move. Just move one limb, one finger, one toe, anything! As he got closer, I could feel my eyes watering and my breathing getting heavier and uneven.

Somebody please save me!

He-no...

It stopped at the side of my bed, looking down at me. I looked up and met eyes with it. Such hollowness filled it. Just like a corpse.

"We can be together still," It raised it's hands and I instantly thought the worse. Was it going to choke me? Or worse! By now, I was hyperventilating through my nose. I closed my eyes in anticipation but...nothing came.

I opened my eyes to see the shadowy figure gone. Instead, I felt a weight beside me. Golden arms wrapped around my limp body. I began to panic but then I heard it. Heard...him?

"It's ok Sakura-chan. As long as I'm here, I won't let anything hurt you." His angelic voice range through my ears. Hearing him made me relax my breathing and my body. I felt his hands caress my head and arms. "I'll protect you. I promise. Now rest."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mom wake up!"

I sat up rubbing my eyes and stretching. When my eyes finally cleared from the drowsiness, I saw that it was Shinachiku at my bedroom door calling me.

"W-What, why did you call me?" I asked through a yawn.

"It's Saturday!" Hanami joined him. "And you said you'll take us out all day!"

"Guys, it's," I looked at my bedside clock, "7:12 am..."

"But it's an all day event! No take backs!" Hanami protested.

"...Go back to bed." I said.

"But-" Shinachiku tried to say but I interrupted.

"We'll start at 11. Goodbye." I declared and closed my door. I could hear them through the door moan and groan but reluctantly walk away. I laughed to myself and got back into the bed. As soon as I did, thoughts from last night started to come to mind.

I've had anxiety attacks and PTSD episodes but never have I had a sleep paralysis episode. Did last night's thoughts trigger them? And that figure... And Naruto...

I could feel his warm arms around me, his voice feeling my ears ,making it a point to reassure me.

"Mmm."

I smiled to myself and closed my eyes as his words range through my mind.

I'll protect you, I promise.


	16. 15

I woke up two hours later feeling better rested than earlier and stretched. "I guess I'll make breakfast.." I said in a yawn. I moved towards my bathroom and did my daily hygiene. After, I slipped on my house shoes and opened my door. To my surprise, the kids were on the ground..sleep..in front of my door. Pillows and blankets and all.

I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision because clearly I was seeing things. Unfortunately...

"Mm...oh." My daughter awoke to the movement of my feet. "Mom, you're finally awake.." she said in between yawns.

I looked over at my other two children, my youngest waking up as my eldest still sleep. "Why...are you sleeping...at my door?"

"We were waiting on you." Hanami answered.

"We didn't want to go to bed." Arashi chimes in. "If we did, we'd never wake up."

"And you promised that-"

"Alright alright." I shook my head and chuckled a little at their antics. "I'm much more awake than two hours ago so I guess we can start our day now. Wake your brother up so he can eat breakfast." I stepped over them and headed towards the kitchen. "I'll be done in a few."

"Ok!" I heard Hanami say. I could feel her doing air punches and all I could do was smile to myself. "They're so silly."

After thirty minutes, breakfast was just about done. I called out to my children, who were watching TV, to come over and eat.

"Wow," I heard Shinachiku say "this is probably the biggest breakfast we've had in a long time."

It was true. When I fell into my depression, I gradually cooked less and less. Soon, unfortunately, Shina took over cooking duties. Actually, he took over a lot of duties while I was suffering becoming a second parent to them..

"Yeah.."

I prepared steamed rice, miso soup, grilled fish, and various side dishes for each of us such as tsukemono, nori, natto ,and a green salad.

"Smells good mom!" Hanami exclaimed as she pulled out her chair.

"I'm glad you feel that way." I felt my youngest tug at my robe. "Come on Arashi-chan, time to eat." I say to him sitting him in his chair.

As we started to dig in, we discussed today's plans.

"So," Hanami said in between bites. "Do you have plans for what we could do, Mom?"

I didn't have shit.

"Ah well, I do..sort of, but I want to hear your ideas first!" I nervously say. Hopefully they have something.

"Well, I do have some ideas!" She exclaimed.

I internally sighed in relief. I don't know how I managed to forget to make plans about a day I promised to do something on with the kids?

"I was thinking we go the park first! Then, during lunch, we could maybe..stop by Ichirakus..?" I could sense her looking toward me to see any signs of hesitation.

"Ichiraku?" It's true, I am a little hesitant about going. I haven been since before we left on our last mission together. And I haven't seen Techi or his daughter Ayame since the funeral. But my kids...

"I'm going to be honest." I stopped eating and looked at all of my them. "I am still... hesitant about going out and.. interacting with everyone again. It has been a long time since then, four years right? I need you guys to understand that.." I could see Hanami preparing herself for disappointment so I put my hand on top of hers. "But, for you all, I'm going to try my hardest."

In an instant, her eyes lit up and practically leaped on me hugging me tight. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

I giggled at her and kissed her forehead. "For you, I'll do anything. Now, I know there's more to do after that so, what's next?"

"Actually," Shinachiku finally spoke up. "I was thinking of all of us coming to the lantern festival at the end of the month. Everyone is going to be there and you...we all used to go before Dad died."

That's right, the lantern festival is in a few weeks. It's an event where all the citizens of the hidden leaf come together and light up a lantern for their deceased loved ones. Naruto and I ,before the kids were born, would light them up and set them free for our fallen friends and family. As the Hokage, he led the town's people to the edge of town and let his go. After his, the citizens would let go and we'd watch as they pollute the sky. It was always a beautiful sight..

"The Lantern festival? Um..I do miss it. We'll go when it's time." Just like Hanami, his eyes lit up completed with a wide smile.

"Thanks Mom!"

"Anything else? Is that it for the day? Just the park and then Ichirakus?" I asked.

"Ah...that's all we got actually." Shinachiku giggled. "We... didn't think we'd get as far as the park."

"Hmm. We'll, I have an idea." I smirked at them.

"What is it?" Arashi spoke.

"It's a secret." I smirked and winked at them. Hanami and Shinachiku groaned and begged to know what it was but I kept my mouth shut, only giving them a hint of course. "Alright alright, I'm not going to tell you ,but I'll give you guys a hint."

"Which is?!" Hanami asked.

"One word, relaxation."

"...a spa? A bath house?" Shinachiku pondered.

"You'll see. Now, eat up your food so we can start our day."

As the kids are the rest of their food, I started thinking to myself about the Lantern festival. When the war ended, Naruto made it tradition to remember those who fell during that time and before. When he was elected Hokage, it became an official reserved holiday. After his death, everyone got their lanterns and lit theirs and let it fly into the air the night of the funeral. I was very touch to see the village morn him like they did. Going out there after twenty-five plus years, counting my past life, is nerve racking and I'm getting anxious just thinking about it. But for right now, I want to have a good day spending time with the kids.


	17. 16

"You guys ready to go?" I shouted. Moments later, I heard Hanami and Shinachiku scrambling to the front door where as Arashi just walked up to me. "Always so calm.." I said as I picked him up.

"Come on mom!" I heard Hanami shout from outside.

I shook my head and grabbed my keys. "Why couldn't you sister be as calm as you Arashi chan."

As I walked, again, I could see the villagers staring at me and whispering. Most likely surprised I'm out and about for the second time in four years. It's so hard to come out of the house now, I don't know how I did it the other day.. My hands started to sweat and get clammy, my chest heaving up and down more and more.. I could feel an anxiety attack rising.

I was just about to call it quits and let them go alone but I heard them. Their laughter.

I looked on as all three of my children played in the street. They look so happy just to get out of the house. It warms my heart to see them like this after so long. Back in my past life, the contact I had from them were occasional letters and photos of their families. Shinachiku wrote to me the most out of all three, not that I blame them. He always write about his team he was guiding, his adventures to other countries leading the charge of new medicine. Though I never wrote him back, he never stopped writing.. I kept Evey last letter and pictures they all sent me in a box under my bed. If I felt an episode was coming, I'd go through that box and calm down. Seeing them smile in those pictures reminded me of the good days before it all happened.

But this is a new life. A new timeline. A second chance. Trust and believe, I'm not going to fumble this. Pictures are great but.. nothing compares to the real thing.

"Mom!" I heard my name being called upon and instantly snapped out of my inner thoughts.

"What is it sweetie?" I ask my daughter.

"Are..you alright?" Shinachiku asked me. Since he's been just a little boy, Shinachiku has been very observant. He was always pointing out things others didn't see, especially in emotion. He must've sensed me almost having an attack.

"Yes. I'm..alright Shina chan, thank you." I reassured him. He nodded his head, a little hesitant.

Hanami then spoke. "Shinachiku and I are going to have a race to the top of the hill and back, watch us?"

"All right." I took a seat on the park bench. "Whenever you're ready."

"You're obviously going to lose Hanami." Shinachiku teased.

"Not likely.." I heard her mumble.

Arashi stood with both arms pointed in the air. "Ready... set...go!" As soon as he set down his arms, it was like a flash. Shinachiku and Hanami were gone, halfway to the hill.

As Arashi played on the monkey bars, I took in the scenery. It was such a beautiful day. The air was crisp, just the right amount of temperature outside..just perfect.

"See!" Shinachiku yelled. "You're going to lose!" He was already down the hill almost to me.

"Oh yeah?! Watch this!" Hanami declared. I watched her do some hand signs...signs that were so familiar and in an instant, she was gone. In a blink of an eye, she was here!

"Ta-da!" She exclaimed. "I finally mastered it!"

"Wait-" I was confused. What. Did she master?

"Grandpa's ninjitsu! I mastered it Mom!"

"H-How did know what hand signs to use? Who taught you?" I asked.

"Dad did." Arashi chimed in.

I turned my attention towards him. "When?"

"When you were at the hospital trying to find that cure? For the outbreak that Happened last year." Hanami explained. "You worked long hours at he hospital so I so..I was talking to Dad about learning a new ninjitsu. The one Grandpa uses that earned him the name, the yellow flash.! So he taught me how do it. When he passed, I promised him that I'd master it.. and I did!"

When I was a medical expert huh? I remember those days. The break out happened so suddenly in a rural village. I was the leader of a group of medical experts, including Lady Tsunade, Shizune, and Chiyo, who were tasked with creating a cure before it gets uncontrollable.

"I see.." I got off the bench and approached and snatched her into a hug. "I'm so proud of you!" I kissed her forehead as she giggled.

"Thanks mom."

I let her go and addressed them all. "You all go back to playing. I want to enjoy the air for a minute." They nod in understanding and walked towards the playground chatting among themselves most likely planning who would be in during his and seek.

Such a nice morning.. I wish Naruto were here to enjoy it with me. He love the view..

As I leaned back basking in the afternoon sun, I heard footsteps from behind and I turned to see who it was.

"S-Sakura-chan! Ah I didn't mean to startle you!"

"L-Lee-san!" I was a little taken aback by his sudden appearance.

"Metal-san!" I heard Shinachiku yell as he rushed over. I turned to the little boy by his side, whom I somehow missed, and took in his appearance. He looked exactly like Lee! Well, not exactly. He had the same bowl cut as his father, same grass green jumper with orange ankle warmers and ,of course, same bushy eyebrows. The only thing different about him were his eyes.

"Shina-chan!" He rushed to him and embraced each other in a tight hug. "I did not expect you to be here!"

"Me neither!"

The boy, Metal, turned to his father and asked him a question. "Father, can I play with them for a bit? I already did 200 push-ups and 100 sit ups."

Lee smiled brightly at his kid and gave him a thumbs up. "Go ahead! I do not mind you playing with your friends."

Metal thanked Lee and ran back to them.

"Uhm, Sakura-san," He turned to me. "Do you mind if I sit?"

I shook my head no and scooted over a little. He sat and let out a breathe of relief. Guess he just got done exercising and took a break?

"So.."

"So.."

So awkward

"I've heard that you've recently talked to Ino-san, Hinata-san, and Kiba-san. It's been a long time. Are you doing well?" He asked.

Why do people keep asking me that? I mean u get why but..I just hate that it's the first thing I have to talk about.

"Lee.." I thought about it for a second but decided to answer the question anyway. He doesn't mean anything by it but.. "I'm.. doing better these days. But uhm.."

"What is it?" He said looking concerned.

"I...just would appreciate it if we don't talk so much about how I'm feeling or how I'm doing.."

"Oh."

"I-Its not you, please understand, it's just that, I don't want to be constantly reminded about how bad I'm doing ,rather were doing, but move forward. That's my goal, to move into the present. That's why I'd rather talk about..you." I tried to explain the best I can.

"I understand." He reassured me in soft voice. "What would you like to know?"


	18. 17

"How have you been?" I asked.

"I've been great! I'm still training to get better but I'm slowing down just a little for my son's sake." Lee's eyes lit up once he mentioned his son.

"Same age as Shina-chan right?"

"He's very talented! Just the other day, he came so close to beating me! I'm.so amazed! Though he still has some obstacles to go through. Though he can use jujitsu, he's not very proficient in it and I'm not the best teacher for obvious reasons. He also has Social anxiety, he starts to choke if he's in front of big crowds but I'm trying my best to help him any way I can!"

I giggled at his excitement. I can see the fire burning inside him, his determination to help his son.. amazing. "Just like how Gai Sensei helped you? How is he anyway?"

"Yes! Exactly! And he's fine. You know, after Kakashi-sensi retired from being Hokage, he and Gai began to travel around, going to laces they always wanted to go.. They deserve the rest they are getting. Especially with Gai Sensei playing a pivotal part in weakening Madara and almost dying.."

"Yes I remember. I'm surprised, after that last jujitsu, he was still alive, every muscle working properly." I reminded myself. "It's a good thing his cells matches with Hashirama's."

"Yes and I'm grateful it were." Lee agreed.

I looked over to the children playing and fixed my eye on to Metal. Such a.. unique name. It actually fits him. I wonder...

"And What of Metal's mother?"

"I was traveling with Gai-Sensei ,Kakashi-sensi, and Mirai. During our travels, I met someone. She was from the land of lightning so I stayed with her for a bit. We fell for each other and decided to marry privately with Kakashi-sensi and Gai-Sensei in attendance. Soon after, she was Pregnant with Metal-chan but...she didn't make it past birth. The midwives said that she lost too much blood.."

"I'm so sorry.."I put my hand on top of his comforting him as best as I could. I should have been there to help.

"Thank you." He continued. "After we, her family and I, burried her, I took him with me to Konoha five years later."

"Five?"

"The family and I agreed that he was too young to travel such a long way. So I made a deal to take him back to here after five years. It was tedious going back and forth but worth it. He grew so much so quickly.. I hated being away from him but it was the best I could do. Everyone else found out about him once I brought him home." Lee explained.

"I see."

Glad I asked.

"Your boy over there.. I've never seen or heard about him until now..?"

"Ah.." Lee smiled cheekily at her. "Well I didn't know when it was a good time to visit. You were in isolation for so long, I didn't think you'd want to see anyone.. Remeber when I, and the others, tried to get you out of the house?" He chuckled.

I smiled in embarrassment. Of course I remember going on a semi-rampage on everyone that were just trying to help. A d I regretted it afterwards. That, and others, were some of the ways I pushed everyone away.

"Yeah... I'm sorry about that. I was acting-"

"Out of grief." He finished my sentence. "I appreciate the apology Sakura-san but I understand why you did it. We were pushing you too hard when you clearly were not ready. You were still clearly grieving Nraruto and we sort of ignored that."

I signed in relief. I'm so glad, after all this time, there no hard feelings like I thought there would be. "Thank you Lee-san for understanding...but thats not an excuse. I treated you all horribly and said some things that I shouldn't have. Yes, I was grieving still and clearly not ready for social interaction but I shouldn't have acted so brash about it. You guys were just... trying to help. So I apologise for my behavior in the past and for the things I said."

"Sakura-san..." His expression looked as if he's a little taken aback but it quickly shifted to a warm smile. "I accept your apology. Thank you."

"Speaking of the others, like I said before, they told me you were getting out more. How was it, meeting them again after so long?"

I sighed remembering how it felt talking to Ino, Hinata, Kiba after years. "It was nerve-racking haha." I giggled a little. "I was so afraid that... That nobody would understand why I chose to isolate myself. I thought it'd be much harder to try and reconcile with everyone but instead, it went smoother than what I expected. Well, for the most part. Kiba was.. upset, confused maybe."

Lee jumped in. "I actually talked with him about it. He's definitely confused and you didn't give the best of reasons."

"I know I didn't but I could only take so much before my social anxiety gets to me. I wasn't expecting to speak to him and to ask me questions I wasn't ready to answer. I swear I would've had a panic attack if I didn't get out of there quickly..."

"But it is not resolved. He feels he didn't try enough and that's why he feels as if it was his fault you pushed him away personally." Lee explained.

"I know but... Truth be told, I still don't know the answers he wants we me to say. What I want to say.. I don't know but I promise." I looked Lee in his eyes with all seriousness. "I promise to resolve it between us soon."

"I'm glad."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"Sakura-san,"

"Hm?"

"Do you miss being the head of the hospital?" He honestly asked.

I tensed up at the mention of my old job. "Well.." Old memories came to mind and I shifted uncomfortably and it seemed like he noticed.

"Oh, Sakura-san, I'm sorry.i didn't mean to-"

"It's alright. I haven't thought about the hospital since.." I slumped over and sighed.

"I see."

"But I do miss it. I think about it from the to time. I mean, it was my passion before everything that's happened. I loved it.."

"But now?" He inquired.

"It's just...there. I want to get back out there one day but I want to start off slow. Something small. And I haven't talked to Lady Tsunade in who knows how long.."

"Hm... Well I think I may have an idea?" I quickly turned to look at him.

"Which is?"

"Well, Neji and TenTen are doing something for Lady Tsunade. Something about volunteering to heal the villages who have less resources than we do? You'll have to talk to them. They need a medical expert." Lee proposed.

"Really?"

An opportunity to get back out there? I should take it! But what if I choke? And it's been so long, years since I've used my knowledge. I'm so far behind.. but..

"I'll think about it. Thank you for telling me, Lee-san."

"Of course." He said with his signature smile.

*Note*

-in this verse, Gai's cells are compatible with Hashirama's so all of his body parts are working functionally.

-Gai's eighth gate jujitsu did damage his body but because of Hair using it, Madara took just as much, if not more, damage than Gai. He did not heal all the way and was a key player in helping to bring down Madara.

-Lee left the village with Kakashi, Gai, and Mirai Sarutobi during some time after the installation of Naruto becoming the Hokage. After his death, he came back for the funeral then left again to tend to his pregnant wife.

-Everyone assumes that Kakashi and Gai are married everywhere they go but they always deny their marriage to each other. However, they don't deny being a couple.


	19. 18

The feeling of being back in the field... I can feel it. The excitement growing in my stomach. My heart skips a beat the more I think about it. The thrill of it all. It's a feeling that you'll never get tired of. So what's stopping me?

"Mom?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and fixated on my son. "Y-Yes?"

"It's your turn to order." He whispered.

Right. I forgot where I was.

"Ah sorry Techi-san. I got lost in thought." I nervously said.

"It's no worries," he gave a half smile. "I'll get you your usual."

That smile, he was concerned but he tried to hide it. Tried.

"Thank you."

I fixated my attention upon my kids to distract myself. "So, did you all have fun at the park?"

"Yes!" They said in unison.

"That's good. What do you guys want to after this?"

"I feel like watch a movie." Hanami responded.

"Oh? What kind of movie?" I asked her.

"Horror of course!" She exclaimed. Shinachiku shook his head rapidly and interjects.

"No, we are not watching that horror movie you always try to watch. You'll get scared." He criticized.

"No, you'll get scared! I'm not scared of a movie! I'm not a baby!" She bragged. Shinachiku was getting visibly annoyed with Hanami and argued back and forth with her. Of course I just laughed, reminds me of Naruto and I during our early genin days. Always bickering.

Yeah.. definitely a mirror.

"You two stop bickering." Techi interrupted them. "Your foods done."

As soon as they laid eyes upon their food, it's as if they'd instantly forgotten what they were bickering about and dug in. "Thank you Techi-san!" They said in unison.

Techi smiled slightly at them as he put my bowl infront of me and spoke. "You know," he whispered. "Those two remind me of you two. Or is it the pink and blonde hair." He joked.

"I know. It's like looking on a mirror sometimes. And Arashi," I focused my eyes onto my youngest eating peacefully seemingly unbotheredby his siblings' bickering. "When he was born, Nraruto cried all week when I stayed in the hospital claiming his mother, Kushina, blessed our son with her hair."

"Ahahaha" He chuckled. "I remember when he paraded around little Arashi-chan after he was ready to come home. I'll never forget how happy he was to have a child whose hair resembles his mother." He looked over them with fondness in his eyes. "I remeber when he paraded all of em like that around. I miss him."

"...Me too."

"Mom I'm tired.." Hanami complained.

We just got done eating and we're currently heading home. Hanami could barely walk straight so I carried her while Shinachiku walked hand in hand with Arashi.

"Well, you did eat two bowls of Ramen." Shinachiku chimed in.

"Shut up.." grumbled and let her head rest in the crook of my neck.

"You've got the stomach of your father." I joked. "Maybe one day, you'll catch up to him."

"Like that'll happen." Shinachiku snorted. "Every time he took me there, he'd eat like five-six bowls! It's was amazing! ...And a little nasty cause of the bathroom but.."

I snickered at his comment."The bathroom did use to be a problem huh?"

He continued to complain comically. "Ugh it was so nasty! I used to hate going into the bathroom because I was afraid that he already stunk it up! I remeber my first time like it was yesterday... I'm still traumatized."

I belly laughed at his explanation of his father's bathroom habits. I didn't realize how funny he could be... These little things I'm learning about my kids... This is why I went back. This is why I don't regret choosing my kids.

About time we made it home, Hanami was fast asleep in my arms. It looked as if Arashi was following suit as he told had trouble keeping his eyes open so I put them both to bed. It was only me and Shina awake at this time.

As I was putting away the dishes from the dishwasher, I felt my son hug me from behind.

"Huh? Shina-chan, what's wrong?" I asked as I turned around.

"It's just... It's been a long time since went out like this. As a family. I'm.. I'm just happy today happened." I could hear the crack in his voice and I instantly embraced him tight.

""Shina-chan..." I kissed him on his head. "I'm glad today happened as well."

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too baby."

We embraces each other for few more minutes before deciding to part.

"I'm heading to bed, goodnight."

"Ah w-wait, I want to ask you something." I wonder how he'd feel about it?

"Yes?"

"Now," I cleared my throat. "I want you to be honest with me.. How.. How would you fell about me going back to work? Like, back into the medical field?"

"Oh.. um..." He trailed off.

The more silent he got, the more anxious I got. What if he thinks bad if me for trying to go back? What if he thinks I'm going to abandon them again? What if-

"I don't mind."

"What?"

He came closer to me. "I don't mind. In fact, I think that it's amazing gay you want to go back. I remeber how passionate you were about medicine.. You actually we're my inspiration for wanting to be a medical ninja mom." A breathy chuckle left his lips.

I... I inspired you?" I was flabbergasted.

"Mom, you're literally a living legend. You healed so many people during the war. Dad told me how you surpassed Lady Tsunade at just sixteen. And how you brought him back to life by manually pumping his heart, your hundred seal , your strength.. Mom, I know you've been struggling these past few years with Dad's death but.. you're still an inspiration to many people. More than you know."

I was at a loss for words.. I didn't know what to say. All that he said.. All that Nraruto told him.. "Shina-chan...

He shot me a warm smile and bid me goodnight. "What ever you decide to do, I'll be happy for guy either way. Goodnight Mom." And walked away.

What ever I decide... Thank you.. Shinachiku


	20. 19

I woke up the next day with yesterday's conversation with Lee and my son still weighing heavily on my mind. I was still a bit confused on what to do so there was really only one thing left to do before I make a decision.

"Kids," I walked past them towards the front door. They were up watching cartoons on the television. "I'll be back in a little bit. I'm going to see your aunt Ino so if anything happens, you know where I'll be. Ok?"

"Alright mom, got it." Shinachiku answered for them.

I blew them kisses and left out the door.

With last night's conversation with my son still fresh in my mind, I admit it's a little strange but I felt relief when he expressed his support for me to go back to work. And the fact that he idolizes me...me! I mean, it's Normy for children to admire their parents but me? After what's been happening before the time-reversal? And the fact that I would have never knew... Once again, I'm reminded how grateful I am to go and make things right..

Soon enough, I came upon my best friend's, always busy, flower shop. As the bell on the door rang, I was greeted with beautiful blue eyes that lit up just as mine did once we met.

"Sakura! You're here!" Ino came from around the counter and rushed to give me a tight hug. "It's been a few weeks. How have you been so far? Taking things slow?"

"I'm good actually. I just wanted to spend some time with the kids for a few days... But, I'm sure you've heard through our friends that I've been out more though."

"Yes! and I want to talk to you about that! Hold on, Sai!" She called out to him from the back.

"Yes ,honey?"

"Watch the shop while I talk to Sakura-chan for a second!"

"Sakura-san?" He questioned and quickly poked his head around the corner. "Sakura-san, is that you? It's...been a while."

"Hello Sai-san" I looked away in embarrassment.

"Come on." I felt Ino slightly tug on me pulling me along. I awkwardly wave at Sai before following his wife as he did the same.

"Sir sit sit!" She insisted. "Ok, how was it? Being out in the open? At the market place after years of isolation?"

"Well," I took a deep breath and tried to explain. "It was, to be brutally honest, a nightmare. I was so scared. I mean, I kept a conversation with a villager , wasn't long at all, but I felt like I was going to explode. My anxiety was acting up the entire time! I tried to calm myself down because everyone was looking at me, staring at me... I felt their gaze as if they were burning holes into the back of my head.."

"Well, I mean, it's been four years since you completely shut your self off from the public. Especially with you being the late Hokage's wife.. Then, suddenly, one Sunday morning, here is the first lady of the leaf roaming the streets so ,of course, they are going to stare."

"Yeah yeah I know, but still. And you know how bad it can get... Remeber that night after the funeral?"

"Yeah.. I remember." A sudden gloomy look overtook Ino's face. "That night was the worse I've ever seen you..."

My face mimicked hers. "Yeah, well.. a-anyways. It got worse after I ran into Hinata-san. She was so sweet ,as always, inviting me back to her house to catch up."

"Mm, I heard from her actually. She didn't want you to worry but she noticed how fidgety and anxious you were.."

"Yeah.. she didn't directly say anything but I knew that she knew which made me even more fidgety. But she constantly reassured me that it was alright so ,I guess looking back at it, it could've been worse. And then, while I was leaving, I might as well have had a heart attack when Kiba appeared out of nowhere... "

"She..," I could hear the hesitation in her voice. "She also mentioned those nightmares you have...well used to have? Is that true? You haven't had that nightmare since then right?"

"Ah... Well I had one but...it turned out surprisingly well in the end."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... It started out as...as sleep paralysis? I don't know really? I've had it before but that one right there...it felt different?"

Ino furred her brows together, obviously confused. "Different how? Was it not a shadow this time?" She questioned , referring to my past paralysis situations.

"No..no. He-I-It.." I felt my shoulders tense up as I recollect my memory of the other night. I was so...scared. My chest started to heave up and down more and more my hands... oh God I could feel them begin to shake a little. "Ah..um.." My mouth ran dry no matter how many times I moved my tongue around. No matter how much I tried, nothing would come out.

"Sakura." Ripped from my inner thoughts, I was little surprised to see Ino ,who moved closer to me when I didn't notice ,as I was in my own head, to hold me close and cover her hands over mine. "It's ok. I'm here." I began to shake as I laid my head on her shoulder. Warm stray tears fell from my eyes as I tried my best to explain one more time. "Now tell me, what happened?"

"It was him. Naruto, h-he was there. He was just smiling at the end of my bed and blaming me! Blaming me for his death and... And.."

Ino patted my back as I tried to find the words to describe what happened next in between hiccups. "He came closer to me, I tried to move but I couldn't! I just...I just couldn't and he a-almost touched me..but I felt something. Like a spirit."

Ino ,once again, furred her eyebrows together in confusion. "What do you mean a spirit?"

"A spirit." I looked straight in her eyes to let her know I was serious. "Naruto's spirit. I felt him...cover me, protect me from that...that thing. "

Ino's eyes were wide open at my experience. "No way..." She said in disbelief. "But...I believe it. He loved-loves you so much.. he did always say he's protect you." She gave me proud smile and I gave her a warm one back.

"Mmm. He did say that didn't he?"

I wiped my eyes as I removed my head from her shoulder, nervously laughing. God was it awkward to just break down like that...

"Sorry for...all of that."

"Don't be sorry." She smiled at me. "I'm your friend, I'm supposed to be the shoulder you cry on as you are mine."

"You're right. Speaking of," I cleared my throat before I explained the situation. "I'm...in between an opportunity and..I need your help. You know me better than anyone so..I really need your guidance on what I should do."

"What's the opportunity?" She asked as she moved her chair back to her original place.

"Well, I was think about.. going back to work..?" I trailed off.

Ino just about choked on air. "Head if the hospital? Chief medical ninja of land of fire? That job?"

"Ah yes?"

"...Are..are you sure? Because-"

"I know I know, you don't even need to say it. That's why I want to start out small, a little volunteer work. No hospital, just healing people who don't have the resources to get to or pay for medical bills."

"You mean that job with Neji and TenTen?"

"Yes."

"That's..."

"What? Come on with it, what so you think about it? About me going back into medicine?" I was so desperate for her answer. I just wanted her to spit it out!

"Sakura-chan, I think...I think it's amazing that yuh want to go back into medicine! It's your passion! But,"

"But?"

"But... I just don't want you to overload yourself. And I'm glad that you're thinking about your mental health. I want you to do this but I don't want you to have a repeat of what happened to your last patient.. you understand?"

The mention of my last patient made my shoulders tense up again. That's just another memory is rather lose. "I-Ino, trust me when I say I don't ever want what happened that day to happen to me again..."

"Good! Now, as for this volunteer thing, have you talked to Neji and or TenTen about this?"

"Well, no actually. Talking with Lee is how I learned about the whole thing.I wanted confirmation before I go talk about it to them."

"Oh? Well, now that you got your little confirmation, you should go talk to them and Lady Tsunade since she's the one who assigned it."

"Lady Tsunade huh?" I haven't spoken to her since my last day in the hospital. She came by the house a free times to check on me and the kids, mostly me, but that eventually stopped. "I'll... I'll talk to her."

"I'm serious build-board-brow," She teased. I missed that nickname. "You talk to her, it's been so long and yuh know she misses yuh and yuh know you miss her."

"Yeah yeah Ino-pig." I teased back. We both stood up and pushed out chairs in.

"Shut up." She grinned. "Listen, I'm proud of you. That trauma... It will past. Not in a snap but...it's going to pass. And I'm really proud of yuh for not letting it control you anymore." Ino moved in to give me a hug and said to me, "You do what yuh think is best for you. Ok?"

"I will. I will.."


	21. 20

After opening up to Ino about what's been going the past few days, I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my chest. I didn't realize it before now, but I really need that talk. And as always, Ino, the rainbow to my rain cloud, was here to save the day again. I love that girl.

The people closest too me are more than supportive of me going back in the field, and I'm grateful for that. But..there's one thing I have to know for myself..

"Is my passion still there?"

As I ask myself that question, an image in my mine surfaced.

My very first successful heal.

While Naruto was spending more time with Jiraiya, I wanted to be just as useful to the team once he returns. So, Lady Tsunade took me in as her apprentice teaching me everything she knows. I didn't want to be left behind and be labeled the 'useless one' by others so I tried my hardest and put my all into everything that I did. Sure, I didn't have a special ability in my clan, but Haruno Sakura was not going to be in the shadows. On no, you're going to hear about me!

The training was compiled with many long days and rigorous close combat and evasion practice. God, remembering all of those bruises sent chills down my spine.

An experience that I would rather not feel again hehe.

The evasion training was the easy part. But learning how to heal was on a totally different scale of difficult. It took me a little while to get my first half way healing! But that's only because I was getting into my own head and Lady Tsundae sensed it. I remeber when Tsunade-sama called me out on my bullshit.

'Oi, Sakura! Stop all that self-doubting crap! You're going to keep yourself from becoming a great Medical nin if yuh keep doing that, and trust me, you could be a great one. Trust yourself. Relax.'

Such truer have never been spoken. I kept failing because of how insecure I was about being left behind by the boys. But, once I got over that, I improved rapidly. With improvement came a fondness over medical practice. So much so, I began to take it upon myself to learn more outside of training.

I could feel a smile creep onto my face as I reminisce about those days.

I would go to the library and rent out different kinds of medical books. Things like the anatomy of the body ,all the way down to the chakra points and poison and or sickness medical research. As I exposed my mind to these things, my training got less difficult for me. Healing a fish became a no brainier! I was becoming stronger! Wiser! Better!

As I passed the obstacles with ease, I began to do more difficult sessions. Some that required more time and chakra control than before. Luckily, I had great chakra control before training with Tsunade-sama so her Chakra storing lessons plus my natural ability made putting much more effort a no brainier. But I'm not going to lie, it would tire the hell out of me.

I remeber this one particular healing required much more of my energy than ever before. It was the first time I passed out after completely healing a fish successfully.

I could feel my legs shake but I held on just enough to finish healing the fish. Sooner or later, my body couldn't take it anymore and completely gave out on me. All my muscles became limp and I had no other choice but rest up.

In those few seconds I was still conscious, I felt Lady Tsunade catch me and Shizune come to my aid. I couldn't see their faces but I heard Lady Tsunade say

"Well done, my apprentice. Well done.'

Hours later, I awoke on a couch in the office and was greeted by both of them. Shizune gave me a glass of water and nursed me back to health.

As I drank, Shizune made it known how much I impressed her. Saying something along the lines of 'so advance' and ' untapted potential', I really don't know I was completely zoned out. But, I do remeber Tsunade-sama saying I might surpass her one day.

And that's exactly what I did.

From achieving the strength of hundred seal at age seventeen and becoming a sanin, to being considered a legend and a pivotal figure in he war and medical world. I've done it.

That day, after I completely recovered, I went outside for some fresh air and ran into Naruto possibly on his way to another mission.

This moment really solidified me staying in under apprenticeship.

I remeber so clearly, his eyes as blue as the ocean. So full of life. And that smile.. It could light up a room if you let it. Excited, I told him about the fish I healed and how I'm catching up to him and Sasuke.

He said, "Ooh Sakura-chan that's amazing! Just you wait, you're going to so strong, stronger than baa-chan! I'm proud of ya!"

I'm proud of you

Naruto...

Thinking of him... It took me back to the first time he perished. Right in front of me.

Seeing people die at young age, especially if it was by my hands, was traumatic for me but seeing the man who've I've grown with and fall completely head over heels a little bit prior towards the war..scared me.

I think that's why I took his death so hard..

The first time, I was able to save him. I did everything I could and it payed off! But.. that day..

I couldn't save him. No matter what I did... All of that knowledge.. The accomplishments.. all for nothing.

His death obviously affected me more than anyone else's. That..fear and anxiety I developed crossed over into my professional life. I was losing myself to my inner thoughts. Zoning out during board meetings, and.. almost causing a patient to die.

God I could feel my hands shake as I recall the incident.

I remeber it was a heart surgery, the guy had multiple small holes in his heart so we were going to open him up and fill it in. The procedure would've worked like regenerating a body part. It's was my first major surgery after taking a little break after the funeral. I knew I wasn't feeling right that morning but I needed to take my mind off of Naruto. I couldn't stand thinking about that day, the events playing over and over in my head..it drove me crazy! I need this... I thought I needed this.

We laid the patient down on the table, he was already out with the anesthesia, and proceeded to work on him. I slit open up his chest and cracked it got a look at his heart. I remeber clearly how cloudy minded I was. I stuttered so much trying to instruct the other surgeons in what to do and what tool to give me. I could tell they could tell their was something wrong with me... And deep down, I knew it but I didn't want to admit it. But then...

"Sakura-sempai, what are you doing?!"

I was...deeply horrified with what I had done..

"Shit!" Another surgeon said and pushed me to the side. "You stabbed him!"

"I..No. I-It waas an accident! I didn't mean to.."

He turns to me, rage mixed with disappointment filled within his eyes, "You should just go home, Senpai. Obviously, you're not ready to come back."

Luckily, they stabilized him.

That.. incident changed me. After that day, I hated anything to do with medicine. I hated that damn hospital. I hated him. I hated... myself.

Those two failures affected my psyche so bad, I developed PTSD, anxiety, and ,of course, depression. Out of all three, I think having to deal with my anxiety was the worst. I couldn't even look at a medical text book or a picture of Naruto and I..or the kids without having an episode. That's actually one of the reasons why I pushed my kids so far away from me. I didn't want to be reminded and I thought it's be better for the both of us. Clearly, that wasn't the case.

The other reason was fear. Fear that I couldn't save them just like I couldn't save Naruto. I know, it doesn't make any sense but that was it was. That was my thinking. Crazy now that I think back on it.

Recalling everything that happened from the time I was a genin all the way till now, has , in a way, been therapeutic for me. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows... everything that's happened, happened for a reason. That's how I look at it now.

Do I still have a passion for medicine?

Well.. right now at this moment.

I don't know.


	22. 21

"Time has been flying by these past few days..."

As I was getting ready, I look down from my bedroom window at the ground and other buildings. It was yet another beautiful morning in Konoha. I could hear the town bustling from below. Children playing games while the adults hang up banters and decorations all around their houses

'It is the Lantern festival.. I've got to make it down to the tower quickly if I want to catch them at a good time...'

"Mom." Hanami suddenly appeared pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yes, Hanami?"

She approached me and sat on the bed looking at herself in the mirror for a quick second before looking at me. "So... You really want to do this? I mean...it's one thing when you told us you wanted to go back to work but..."

"I have to. I owe it to the citizens."

"But..do you?"

She does have a point. Do I actually owe the village citizens an explanation why I closed myself off? Do they really need an explanation on how and why I chose to grieve the way I did? I mean, to my kids, of course. I owed them that much..but Konoha?

"Absolutely." I honestly answered. "Just like I...abandoned you and your brothers at our lowest point, I did the same to them." I cup my daughter's chin and kiss her forehead. "The least I could do is give my side of the story. Weather they accept it or not is on them. But it's on me to explain my actions.."

"Well..." Hanami moved closer and embraced me. "I want to be right there with you so you won't feel scared."

This angel...

"Thank you.. Hanami."

"Mom,I'm going to take Hanami and Arashi to the store to get some Lanterns and decorations, are you coming?" Shina asked me.

"Actually, I have something I've got to do. I'll meet you back here so we can decorate it here?"

"Oh, where are you going?" He inquired.

"Mom's going to talk to Hokage-sama." Hanami answered for me.

"Wait, why? Oh! Is this about the hospital? Ooh, are you going to be head director again?!"

"Well, Shina-chan," I answered as I put on my shoes. "I was going to talk to her about something else actually.. I want to make a speech at the Lantern festival..to the people."

"A..speech? You want to tell them why you decided to cut yourself off..right?" He guessed.

"Yes.. I feel as if I owe them an explanation.. just like you all."

"Yeah but.." his nose scrunched up in confusion. "Do you really have to? I mean... We lost a father, you lost a partner-"

"And they lost a leader Shinachiku." I interrupted. "Just because I was the wife, doesn't mean I didn't have any kind of duty to the people..I was also head of medicine and health, remember? That is why I have to at least explain my actions."

"Yeah..I guess.." He reluctantly gave in my reasoning. "I still stand by what I said though.."

"I know baby." I walked over and kissed him along with Hanami and Arashi on their foreheads. "I'll meet you three back here in a couple of hours. I'll have to go now if I'm going to be able to catch up to Hokage-sama."

"Alright." Shinachiku gently grabbed his brother and sister's hands and guided them out the door along side me. "We'll see you later."

"Good luck Mom!" Hanami said.

"Thanks. I'll be on my way then!" I said to them and continued on to the Hokage tower.

"Hana-chan, do..you agree with what mom is doing?" Shinachiku

"I.. don't know. But if it gives her peace of mind..why not?" She answered truthfully.

"That's true..."

'Mother, whatever you're looking for for doing..I hope you find it...'

Seems as the citizens are more lively than usual.. That or it's been a really long time since I've seen such an occasion for them to act like this. Most likely the latter, duh.

It was just like what I had seen from my window, just up close. Children laughing and playing with the banters and decorating their lanterns. Kind of makes me realize how much I've missed this. The excitement and joy and calmness that come through your mind from this event..

Sure is nice.

This warm feeling inside me didn't last long and which was soon replaced with anxiousness as I felt their eyes on me as I passed by them. Especially the children..

I could barely hear their hushed murmurs but I could hear just enough to make out what they were saying..

"Look Mom! It's Hokage-sama's wife!" One child said as she passed by me

"Hush child! Don't be so loud!" Their mother said.

"Ah, Lady Uzumaki is out today..?"

"Mrs. Uzumaki huh...I wonder what she's out again for?"

"I wonder if she'll out for the festival tomorrow... maybe?"

Jesus Christ

Without thinking, my pace quickened towards the tower as I lowered my head in embarrassment.

"God Sakura, why didn't you just avoid the crowd.."

But this is what I have to do.

I have to face them. I have to! If I can't do this...how can I make the speech? It's the only way I know that can help me get peace of mind. The only way I help my anxiety. Attack one of the main triggers at it's source Maybe then! Maybe...

"Oh."

I was so deep into my own thoughts, I hadn't realized I was already here. Crazy how fast time flies when deep in thought.

I cleared my throat and walked up the steps and lifted my shaking hand and pulled the door open slowly.

"Come on Sakura. You can do this..."

Geronimo

"Hokage-sama, tasked me to finish the paperwork knowing good and well I still have to get and decorate my Lantern. Oh goodness, please let them still he in stock about time I'm finished.."

Knock Knock

"Ah..come in?"

"S-Shizune-san?"

She looked up at me wide-eyed and immediately stood from the desk. "S-Sakura! Is that really you?!"

Palms sweaty. hands shaking. Heart beating out of my chest. Trying really hard not to lose it right now.

I stepped forward , closing the door behind me, and stood 10 feet in front of her. "Yes... It's... it's me. I'm here."

Shizune immediately tackled me into a tight hug. "I'm..I'm so glad!" I could feel her tears flown on my exposed shoulder. "I've missed you friend.

I hugged her back just as tight and exhaled. "I've missed you too Shizune-san. I've missed you too."

She continued to embrace me for a few more seconds before she breaks the hold. She then holds both of my hands in hers and smiles. "It's been such a long time. Let me look at you!"

I laugh a little and do a little spin. "How do I look?"

"Just beautiful. Now, what is it that you need? I know you wouldn't come outside out if nowhere for no reason.."

"That's actually why I'm here. I wanted to talk to Lady Tsundae about tomorrow.." I explained.

"Oh?"

"Yes..but I see she isn't here so ah..maybe it's not to be?"

"No no no! Sakura-san, she went home early to prepared for the lantern festival tomorrow but whatever it is, I can get the message to her right away!"

"Ah...well..."

Shizune studied my unsure expression, confused and curious about my reasoning. Suddenly , she had an 'ah ha' moment. I guess she read between the lines.

"Tomorrow...this is about the lantern festival.. isn't it?"

"Yes.." I relaxed my shoulders and let out a deep sigh. "I wanted to ask her if I could make a speech at tomorrow's ceremony. You know, before Naruto died... I used to make a speech to remind everyone who and what the festival was for right before the releasing of the Lanterns..._

"Sakura.."

"Do you think she'd let me come back and make such a speech tomorrow night?"

"Sakura-san, of course she would! Better yet, you have my word."

A wave of relief fell over me. "Thank you Shizune."

"No problem.."

"...I guess I'll be going then hm? Thank you again, Shizune-San. I really appreciate it." As I turned to leave, I could sense her hesitation and turned back around and asked her. "Is there something you'd like to say..?"

"Ah... well. I wanted to ask but I-I didn't know if it was appropriate.."

I stepped forward. "No no... please

I can handle it. I promise."

"I just..." I could see her fist cleansing as she said her peace. "I... Why did you shut is out?" I could see the tears stray down her check once again.

"Shizune..." I stepped forward and embraced her.

"You're like a sister to me you know? I saw you grow from being a genin to surpassing Lady Tsundae, a legendary senin at that, at the age of 17..and suddenly... you-you."

"Shizune." Her teary eyes looked straight into mine. "I'm sorry that I shut you and everyone out. At the time...I felt as if that was the only way. That nobody could understand.. Obviously I was wrong but-"

"No. No I understand-at least see your point." She said as she whipped her face. "You didn't have to though. We could've helped you."

"I know... That's why I feel so strongly about making a speech tomorrow

I want to explain my thinking and why I did what I did. I think I'd give my friends and everyone else the explanation they're owed.

"Ah..I see. Well, like I said, I will see to it that you will get that opportunity tomorrow. I promise.."

"Thank you Shizune."

"Of course."

I hugged her one more time and proceeded to leave the building.

Now that that's over, the hard part begins...


	23. 22

"Kids, hurry up before we're late!" I called for them as I straighted out my grass green kimono. I decided to wear wooden colored gets sandals with my hair left down.

"We're coming!" Hanami answered. She came to me wearing her bright red traditional kimono with black zori sandals. Her hair, instead of two pigtails, tied up in a high ponytail. "Well, I'm coming."

"Well, excuse me ,but" Shinachiku coming out hand in hand with Arashi, who had a pouty face going on. They both had a beige Hakam with black zori sandals on. "Arashi doesn't like his wearing his clothes. Every time I turned my back, the whole thing would be in the floor!"

I tried to stiffel a giggle from coming out and approached my youngest and picked him up. "You don't like wearing your Hakama?" I asked as I pinched his cheeks. He chubby checks became red as he tried to pull away. So cute!

"Mommy!" He whined. "I don't like it!"

"Arashi-chan, can't you just wear the pretty Hakama for Mommy just one night? I promise it won't be long." I compromised.

"Mmmm... Ok." He gave in making the cutest surrender face in the process.

Why is this kid so cute?

I kissed him on the cheek and put him down. "Is everybody ready to go?"

Shinachiku grabbed the lantern from the corner of the kitchen and answered. " Ready!"

"Alright then." I held Arashi's had on my right and held hands with Shinachiku on my left, with him holding Hanami's, and set off into the streets. "Let's go."

Though it was late, going by when the festivities started which were strated when the sun was shining it was still a little too early for the releasing of the Lanterns. So, I decided it'd be good to walk around a bit. It has been twenty something years since I've been to one. Might as well enjoy it, right?

As I was walking, a tank on display full of dishes caught my eye.

"Beautiful.."

"Thank you Mrs. Uzumaki."

A gasp escape my lips as I snapped my head to the side of the tank. It was a middle-aged woman with her two children, two boys. "O-Oh! I didn't realize.. I said that aloud." I could feel the red coloring my cheeks.

The woman gave me a warm smile. "You look surprised? Did I scare you? I apologise-"

"N-No you didn't-well sort of but.. you don't have to apologise. Really." I reassured her. "These fish.. I meant what I said about them. Absolutely beautiful, did you raise them?"

"Actually," she pushed her two boys in from of her. "My sons, Hikari and Akira, did. Now you all say thank you."

"Oh!"

"U-Um thank you.."

Yes, thank you Mrs. Uzumaki-sama." Both boys bowed. I bowed back.

"Hikari-chan is a bit shy. My brother idolizes you by the way!" What seemed like the older of the two said.

The younger, obviously embarrassed lightly pushed his brother. "Akira!"

"Well it's true!"

While they argue, I'm still in awe and , admittedly, a little embarrassed myself. "Do you really idolizes me?"

The two boys stop arguing and look at me. Akira, noticably nervous, looked down and plays with his fingernails. "Well... I read about what you did for the Fourth Great Shinobi War and.. and.." he trails off. He inhales and exhaled and looks me in eyes. "I think you're really cool Mrs. Uzumaki-sama!"

Woah... Wait a fucking minute.

"Oh my.." his mother says as she tries not to giggle. His brother ,on the other hand, burst out laughing.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to wrap my head around this.. I just can't get how I can INSPIRE these people.. my actions leading up til now...I mean what I did in my younger days would inspire and maybe even empower anybody but after all this time...?

This shit is crazy.

"A-Akira is it?"

"Ah..Y-Yes."

"Thank you."

"O-Of course."

I smiled at him and bid him and his family farewell. "Take care of these fishes ok?"

"Yes ma'am!" They said in unison. I could hear them talking to each other as I walked away.

'Mom did you see that?!' He said.

'I did! Maybe one-day, you'll be training under her.' she encourage

'Really?!' the younger brother asked

'its a possiblity right?' The older brother asked.

'Hmm maybe..' the mother concluded.

Suddenly, I feel all warm inside. Maybe... This isn't so bad. Not bad at all.

"Mom!" I heard Hanami call out for me. I turned around and saw she, along with her two brothers and some friends running towards me.

I let the kids roam around themselves, though not too far to the point I can't sense them, so they wouldn't be Rich with me and instead play with their friends.

"Look what we won!"

"Oh wow." It was three life-sized plushies, Kurama and Katsuyu and a frog. "How cute!"

"Shina-chan won it for us." Arashi says.

"Yeah!" Hanami happily chimed in. "He's a master at bottle rings!"

"Heh well, I wouldn't say master but if you insist.." Shinachiku said real smug like.

"Stop being so smug." A child chimes in.

"Yeah, you ain't all that." Another teased.

"Whatever!"

"Oh, kids, who are your friends?"

I already met Metal, Lee's child but these two.. who are they? They look so familiar..

"Oh! Mom, this is Hani and Hisoka!"

That's where I know them from! I briefly saw them when I encountered Kiba and seeing them in those family pictures!

"Your mother and father is Kiba and Hinata-san, right?"

"Yes ma'am." They say in Union.

"I see. Well, it's very nice to meet you two finally."

They bowed. "Likewise!" Hani said.

"We heard many stories from out parents about you but mostly from Shinachiku. He talks about you all.the.time." Hisoka teases.

"Oh? Really?" I look over to my son and see he's turning red.

That warm feeling is going to keep growing inside me tonight huh?

"I see. We'll, speaking of your parents, do you know where they might be?" I asked the girls.

"Oh!" Hani answered. They're up there, just past the Ramen shop." She pointed north.

"Thank you. I'll see all of you in a few? In just a couple of hours, it'd be almost time to set our lanterns free."

"Yeah! See you at the hill Mom! Come on guys, I heard they were doing face paint down here!" Hanami said and led the charge.

That child is definitely a leader. But now for the hard part. I knew I had to confront this at some point.

Hopefully, this goes well..

As I'm walking towards the Ramen shop, I noticed something. My anxiety...it's not acting up? At least not as bad as I thought it would have. Here I am, walking past villagers, who've been doing nothing but smiling and waving at me, and I'm not panicking..? Maybe it's because of those breathing exercises and the support... I didn't think they're work ,but those antianxiety pills weren't working so I had to try something...hm. Strange. Very strange in deed.

In no time, I reached the Ramen shop and see Hinata's unmistakable shiny navy blue hair with Kiba by her side.

Inhaling and exhaling, I calm my nerves before I go. If I go and explain myself, he still doesn't have to forgive me, and if he wants to, not immediately.. He has that right, and I have to be ready for that. I have to be..

Here goes nothing.


	24. 23

"Hey guys.."

Both turned and saw me. Though, their reactions were...different.

"Sakura?'' Kiba asked. His face said it all. Surprised and a hint of... resentment? I don't know. But you could tell it's something.

On the other hand, "Sakura-san, I-I'm so glad you came!" Hinata embraced me.

I hugged her back just as tight and smiled. " Me too." She then broke away and turned to her husband, who stayed back, and motioned him to come closer.

"Kiba-kun, come and say hi." She said with the sweetest tone along with that equally warm smile that could make anyone melt.

"Yeah..sure." he murmured and stood by his wife. "Ah.." he avoided my gaze, probably because it was so awkward between us and..I can't blame him. Our last conversation didn't really end on a high note. "It's..good to see you Sakura."

"Likewise."

Hinata, blessed her heart, took notice to how tense and awkward it was between Kiba and I and initiated conversation.

"Ahem, S-Sakura-san, are you enjoying the festival so far? I think this is the best one since the first time it opened."

"So far, I'm enjoying it so far. And you really think so? I.. can't really compare since it's been so long.."

"Yes! Kiba-kun and I were just talking about it. Tell her w-what you said. Meanwhile, I think I saw Hanabi over there with Neji and o-others..."

"Hinata-" Kiba tried to call to her but she was already gone.

"I-I'll be right back!" She declared.

And now, it's just us.

Kiba became wide eyed at his wife leaving him oh so suddenly. "Oh."

"Well.."

I can feel my hands getting clammy again meanwhile, I can see how tense his muscles are. Why is he nervous? I'm the one who awkwardly ended our conversation a few weeks ago. I'm the one who shut out everyone including him. I'm the one-

"Sakura."

"H-Huh?" His voiced yanked me from my thoughts. I looked up at him, finally being able to clearly see his face. He had this expression that screamed... regret? It can't be anything else because I know that expression personally so...what does he have to be regretful about?

"I... I want to apologise for the way I acted when we last talked. It was.. not right for me to bombard you with all those questions knowing how you've been dealing with... What you've been dealing with. Please accept my apology." He bowed.

Oh shit. I didn't expect that.

Hesitating alittle, I walked closer to him and put my hand upon his shoulder. "Kiba.."He flenched from my touch and immediately became upright. "You.. why did you apologise?"

"What do you mean? Why shouldn't I have? I mean, after you left, I told Hinata about our conversation and she told me I should apologise. She told me she could tell you were still jumpy a-and you weren't ready to answer those kinds of questions.."

"That's... actually why I came to find you."

"What?"

"She's right, I wasn't ready to answer those questions then. But now, I've been taking better care of my mental health by taking better care of myself, doing breathing exercises, and taking things one step at a time."

"Trust me when I say, I'm ready to answer you now."

A half smile creeped upon his lips as he took in my words.

"Alright."

"Like I said that day, you and everyone else were not the source of my problems. I didn't shut everyone out because of you all. That was a decision I made, a decision that should've never happened, all because I was thinking selfishly. I wanted none beside me at that time because I felt as if half of my soul died. I.. didn't think I could ever recover without him. That everything could never be the same."

"Mmm."

"I only thought about me and what I felt when I should've been thinking about my children especially." A long drawn out sigh escaped my lips before I continued. "I'm sorry Kiba. I should have never shut you and everyone out, especially my children, when all you all were trying to do is comfort me. Instead, I acted selfish and caused people to think I blamed them. Please, accept my apology."

"Thank you for fully explaining. And I accept your apology wholeheartedly." He grinned at me.

"...Thank you."

"I see you two are more comfortable than before?" Hinata suddenly appeared.

"Oh! Uh yes!" I answered.

Where the hell did she come from?

"All good on my end." Kiba reassured.

"Great. The awkwardness was so high, I-I had to leave so you two could figure it out." She confessed.

"H-Hey you could've stayed and supported." Kiba complained.

"Mmm I could've... But I did not." She giggled as did I.

"Now that everything has been addressed, Sakura. I want to ask you.."

"Yes?"

"I heard from the kids, from your kids, that you want go back to work as a doctor."

"Oh! Actually...yes I-I do. I miss it." I admitted.

"Well," Kiba chimed in. "It's your passion. I mean, who else could've healed half of the ninja force back during the war? Nome except you could've pulled that off and still have enough energy to be out in the front lines."

"That's right! So many owe you their lives, me included."

I became embarrassed and blushed at the compliments. "Thanks guys. I do want to come back..but I'm afraid.."

"Of what?" He questioned. Then he realized. "Wait... I remember. Sakura... You shouldn't think like that."

"That's right, you don't have to dwell on the past.."

"I can't help it. It's one of the reasons why I left in the first place. I would've given anything for a do-over that day but I can't. And I have to live with that. His death, seeing him die before my eyes when I know I was capable of helping him just like before.. I.. I just-"

"Sakura-san. We're right here. It's ok?"

Right. Hinata and I, we'll always be there when you need us."

"Kiba, Hinata.." by this point, I couldn't control my self and pulled both of them in for a hug. Stray tears steam from my face as I thanked them. "You guys..have N-No idea how much that means to me." For them to say this even after the fact of me pushing them away...it means everything to me.

"Of course." Kiba once again reassured. "Well, with that being said, do you want to hang with us until the bell sounds for us to go to the hill?"

"Actually, if you don't mind, I think I want want to roam around by myself a bit longer."

"N-No we don't mind at all. See you there Sakura-san." Hinata said. She, Kiba ,and I said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

Truthfully, I wanted to go with them but I need to recollect myself before we all go to the hill. I reached down in my pocket and picked out a piece of paper and scanned the words written. I stayed up so late last night writing and rewriting this speech. It's so hard put everything into words... If I'm being honest with myself, I'm still not satisfied with the final product. I just hope I don't choke up there...

"There you are! Mom!"

I turned around to be ,once again , greeted by my children, just the three of them this time. I unconsciously smile at them and kneel down to them.

"I'm here. You all having still having a good time? I see you got more plushies." I spotted another small plushies in my youngest hands.

"Yes!" Hanami happily answered. "We got this dog plushy for Arashi-chan and he like it so much, he smiled!

"Oh! Is that right?" I teased. Arashi became red and hid his face behind the dog plushy. Arashi isn't really as outgoing at his older brother and sister, and more reserved and I'm result, doesn't smile all that often. But when he does, my baby is just the cutest.

"Arashi-chan, don't hide from your family." I teased him more. "Shina-chan, you're such an amazing big brother." I kissed him on his forehead and stood up straight.

He giggled and smiled. "Thanks Mom hehe."

"Where did tire friends go?"

"Well, actually..." Shinachiku trailed off.

"We wanted to walk around with you Mom!" Hanami interrupted.

"O-Oh? Really?"

"Mom, why are you acting so surprised? You know we love you right? It's not surprising that we want to spend time with you." My oldest teased making his sister laugh.

I could feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. It is a little silly if me to be taken aback by my children wanting to spend time with me willingly. Though I've made great progress and have strayed further and further away from the other timeline, it has been years since I've spent this much time with my kids. Hell decades! It's..new to me. I love it though. I'll just have to get used to it sooner or later.

"Alright alright get in your laughs." I picked up Arashi and held hands with Shinachiku while he held hands with Hanami. "Now, where would you like to lead me?"

Well, I heard there was a dango shop close to here...?" Hanami said.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" I said and let them lead me the rest of the way.

From the dango shop, to the little street games, all the way to the beautiful banners and paintings and lights on display, we had so much fun that last hour and a half. I learned so much about them during that time.

I knew Shinachiku had an interest in medical ninjistsu and slugs but what I didn't know is that he wants to become a medical nin and summon slugs? It's what I and Lady Tsundae summon so as a result, he's been obsessed with slugs since he was little. I vaguely remember him going through my medical books back when he was about five or six years old. God he was so adorable then.

And then, my baby ,Hanami, she wants to become like her father, to be Hokage! She wants to, like her father, keep the peace she knows. I remember, back then, he'd often tell her stories of his childhood and and dream when he was younger and why he would think of such a dream. She'd be in awe every single time he talked, always asking questions about how and why it was that way when we were growing up. How he made it possible for the new generation to live in peace.. I Should've known then.

Then there's Arashi. Though he's five, I can see how much he's gravitating away from the shinobi life. As Shinachiku and Hanami talked about becoming ninjas and such, he looked disinterested until Shinachiku started talking about summoning. I have a feeling he's not going to be the military type like his brother and sister and I. Arashi... though I don't know much yet since you're only five, whatever you do, you're going to do great.

This is just a portion of who they are, who they want to be. I'll admit, I'll forever be made at how I handled everything before starting over. Back then, I would've never known any of this. Instead, all I would've known was loneliness, grief, and depression. In this timeline, I feel warmth, love, and content. Sure, I'm still working through my problems and dealing with Naruto's death, but I'm doing it so much better than last time. This time..this time is different. And I'm grateful.

~Riiing Riiing Riiing~

"The bell has rang!"

"Oh goodness, it's started."

"Time to go to the hill."

I heard the villagers around me say. My heart skipped at the realization. It was time to let the Lanterns go.

"Well, kids," I looked at all three of them. " I guess it's time."

The long walk up to the hill was nerve-racking. Nobody except Lady Tsunade, the kids, and Shizune knew what I was going to do.

The speech

A lump formed in my throat as we got closer to the designated spot. My hands clammy, of course. I could feel the heat on my back, the sweat in my forehead.. oh goodness. Please don't let it happen now..

We stood in the middle of the crowd preparing for our lanterns to be released but then...

"Attention!" A voiced called out to us. I looked over to who it was who called to our attention. It was Shizune!

"Before we get started, our Hokage has something to address to you all."

"Lady Tsundae?"

"Hokage-sama has announcement? I wonder what it will be?"

"There she is!"

"There she is..." I said aloud.

She appeared just as beautiful as always. Her long hair hanging in two low pigtails. She wore her same green jacket over her grey colored sleeveless shirt and blue capris. Her black heels clicked as she walked front and center. It's seems that she was still using her chakra to appear youthful still because she looked bout the same. That woman...she'll never let us see what age really is will she?

"Ladies and gentlemen, first of all, good evening to you."

"Good evening!" We said back in unison.

"This day, made official by our late seventh Hokage ,Uzumaki Naruto ,may he rest in peace, is the day we celebrate our deceased. Established ten years ago, the idea of this day was to remember our loved ones,not dwell on the pain and sadness of their death, but to celebrate their life and their memory which lives on inside of us. Speaking of... It has been four years since the death of Uzumaki Naruto. I think... everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing once the news was announced. It's was.. It was a tragedy that hit the ninja world hard. He did so much, sacrificed so much so that the new generation could know peace unlike the past generation. Even through his death, his dream lives on through his wife and three young children."

She looked over at us and smiled.

"Speaking of, I know we're eagerly waiting to set free our lanterns but there is someone I would like to bring up. Someone who personally requested to come and speak to all of you. Please welcome our late Hokage's wife, Uzumaki Sakura."

"Wait, the Hokage's wide is here?"

"I heard rumors but I didn't really see her.."

"I saw her talking to other villagers today!"

I heard them say as I walked next to Shizune and Tsunade-sama. Shizune smiled at me and embraced me so tight. She whispered in my ear, "I told you I have your back. Good luck."

As she broke away from me, I felt Tsunade-sama's hand on my shoulder and nodded in support. "You got this Sakura."

"Uhm... H-Hello everyone. It's...been a long time. Err.." I shakily pull out the piece of paper and unfold it. My nerves make me dart back and forth between the part and the citizens and at this point, I realized that my anxiety is pouring out.

I looked to the crowd and made eye contact with each and everyone of them. Out of nervousness, my hands play with the lantern I held on to. I could feel my body heat up, my heart beating faster and faster, my hands getting even more sweaty than before.

Jesus Christ, I don't know if I can make it. I don't think I can do this! Maybe...maybe this was a mistake. Goodness I'm wasting everybody's time. This is a disaster! I can't do this! I can't-

"Mom."

"You got this." Shinachiku whispered. The rest of my family stood by me and gave me reassuring glances and smiles. Even Arashi.

They're right Sakura. This isn't a waste of time. You got this.

I took a deep breath, recollected my thoughts and spoke..

"...Hello.. everyone. Ah.. I'm not sure how to go about this. I mean, I wrote down my thoughts-in fact I barely slept because I was up all night revising-and yet..."

I stared at the paper for half a minute before deciding to crumble into a ball. This paper...it's not..

"I want to speak directly from my heart. My Truth."

"First, I would like to publicly apologise to you all. I..know I abandoned all of you in a crucial time. Please, understand that I never wanted to shut everyone out but ultimately, I ended up doing just that. I lost a husband, my children lost a father, and you all lost a good friend but most of all, a leader. I should have been there right with you all but the grief overtook my though process. I selfishly thought that nobody would understand and have the same hurt a-and the impact it did on me. Not just emotionally but mentally."

"I know that talking about our mental health, especially with some of us being ninjas, is taboo but this needs to be said. The death of my husband affected me in a way that I never thought it would. I developed anxiety and PTSD from watching it happen in front of me plus all those years of fighting put together. As a result of my mental illness, I started to falter. My passion for the medical world all the way to just coming outside started to fade. And it only got worse when I lost a patient as a result of my anxiety. When that happened, I shut myself in even more, afraid of... seeing another I care about die right in my arms just as he did. The..thought of that happening put me on edge."

I took a long pause to recollect my thoughts. My lips formed a small smile as I looked into the crowd. I could feel my eyes welling up in tears

Damn, I just can't help but get emotional. I've made it this far! I never thought I'd get the chance to do this all over again but here I am.

Thank you

"I can now say that I'm, not completely, but I'm better. Way better than four years ago. And I'm ready to ask for your forgiveness. I hope you all understand my side..."

"...We understand." A voice said. The crowd of people looked around, so did I straining my neck so I can see, and moved so the person could come to the front.

It was him. The guy from the market! Goodness what was his name again? Mr Ito!

"Lady Uzumaki, we understand, at least I do. At see point, we've all lost a love one, especially to war. Some of us, weather we admit it or not, may have or is feeling the same way." He preached.

"It's true." Another voice from the crowd chimed in. "We've most likely have been there. Lord knows I have."

"Me too!"

"It's ok Lady Uzumaki, we forgive you!"

"As if you had to explain yourself, you did well, Mrs Uzumaki."

I was taken aback by the crowd voicing their support of me. I was expecting... resentment? Gosh I thought this would be harder that what it is but wow... I never expected this.

"Everyone...thank you. Thank you!"

I started to cry from the overwhelming joy. I didn't want this feeling to end!

"Now that we got that out if the way," Lady Tsunade can from behind and adressed the crowd. "I think it's about that time we let these lanterns fly hm?" The crowd agreed and even cheered a little.

"Alright then." She lifted up hers as did everyone else and made a toast. "Today, we celebrate our fallen ones, not in sadness but in happiness. We hope that they are enjoying life in Heaven and looking down on us. Will you all count down with me?"

Three!

Two!

One!

One by one, each lantern were let go. I forgot how beautiful the scenery can be. The way they glowed in the night sky made them so mesmerizing to look at. Like little stars from the distance actually.

"Sakura-san.Your speech, I liked it. You opened your heart out for everyone. I never thought I'd see the day you'd be so vulnerable."

"Thank you Sai. And..same here. I didn't think I'd make it here, in fact, I thought it would be impossible! But..here I am."

"Yes, here you are."

"Sai is right!" Lee said coming up from behind. You're so brave for coming up here explaining everything. I commend you!"

"Honestly, it was nerve-racking, but thank you." As I'm talking to the both of them, I felt arms wrap around my torso and platinum blonde hair covering half of my body. I giggled and turned to hug my oldest friend.

"Ino, don't sneak up on my like that!"

"Oh please, you knew it was me!" She pulled away and looked at me. "You did amazing up there. I'm so proud of you-"

"We all are."

Everyone...thank you. Thank you for accepting me. For forgiving me." I didn't deserve these people

They accepted me back after I practically ghosted them for four years and just like that, all is forgiven. I really am blessed...

"Of course. We all grew up together, no brainer!" Kiba said.

"Excuse me," it was Lady Tsundae! "But may I steal my former student for a second." She requested.

"No problem." They said and left me alone with her.

"Sakura-san, it's been a long time.. Let's take a walk."

"Alright.."

"It seems to me that you're doing better than the last time I saw you. You doing ok these days?"

"I can't complain. A-And I'm managing my anxiety more and more by the day. Also, I haven't had a panic attack I don't know how long! I...think I'm on a wave right now. And honestly...I don't want to get off."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhm."

"So with that being said, let's take advantage of that."

I was confused. "What do you mean?"

"I heard rumblings that you missed the medical field. So much so, you're thinking about filling the position of a third party volunteer worker in Neji and TenTen's health volunteer work. Is that true?"

"I.."

I didn't word would get around to her. Personally, I wanted to think on the decision more, I mean it was just an idea on my end. An idea that Lee-san planted in me. But to actually act in it...

"Sakura...?"

"Actually, yes. I would like to join the team. I know the last time I was working didn't end well but I'm willing to start with small jobs like this and work up again. I'm willing to do whatever it takes!"

"Whatever it takes huh?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"I see..."

"Sakura Haruno-Uzumai, welcome back."


	25. End of Part 2: Reconciliation

Part 3 coming the summer of 2020

Meanwhile, if anybody has any questions about the story so far, anything you want cleared up, please ask them in the comments.


	26. 24: Redemption

"_It's so beautiful out here.."_ As my medical team and I walked on the dirt path, I made sure to take notice to the beautiful scenery. Such beautiful trees on either side, a slow going river, wonderful smelling wildflowers growing wildly.. The calm atmosphere takes my mind back to our brief meeting with Lady Tsunade before we bid our leave.

"..._This mission is very important. The village you're going to is a dual place and a lot of the citizens there don't have the money to go to build the kind of hospital we are fortunate to have. That being said, we made deal to go and help the citizens in need. Group one helps rebuild and improve their houses, group two, you bring in the food and feed them, and lastly, group three, you're in charge of healing and nursing the sick. Now you may realize that some people may be a bit hostile towards outsiders and that only because of outsiders taking advantage of their kindness time and time again in the past. ... Don't let me hear that you're treating them any different than our citizens or you will deal with me. Got it?"_

_"Yes ma'am!"_

And that was that.

I went through the basic training again, and honestly, I was rustier than I would like to be, but now, I'm back on track. Starting with this mission.

I'll be the first to admit, before going back in time, I used to daydream about what it would've been like to return to my career. So many things I missed out on...so many missed opportunities to help and mentor others-maybe even taking a student or two under my wing like Tsunade-sama did for me... But all of that would've ,should've ,could've is now in the past-I got a second chance! And so far, the future is looking bright.

"_Sakura-san, you coming?"_ TenTen turned to ask me.

Neji, TenTen, and the rest of the staff on our squad were at least ten feet ahead of me. I guess I was too emersed in my own thoughts and the beauty around us to notice.

"_Stuck in your own world I see_.." Neji commented.

I've come so far, conquered every obstacle there was so far... I just pray its all smooth sailing from here on out.

"_Sorry guys, I'll try and walk a little faster_."

The only way is to go up.


	27. Chapter 25

"We're here!" a volunteer shouted to us from ahead. I took in my surroundings and immediately thought back to what Lady Tsunade said about the village. This place looks to have been tormented by war. I could make out some of the buildings, a former hospital? Maybe a bank? It was too war torn for me to correctly identify...

"Sakura, come over here." Neji called. I see he, Tenten, and others were heading towards the village's leaders to talk.

"Coming!"

"Sakura, this is Watanabe Taka and Yuta, they lead the village here." Neji introduced. Taka-sama, Yuta-sama, this is Uzuzmaki-Haruno Sakura."

"'Uzumaki-Haruno Sakura, wife of the late Uzumaki Naruto and student of Lady Tsunade?" Yuta questions.

"Yes sir."

""We've heard great things about you from Lady Tusnade. Shes a close friend of ours so of course we don't doubt your medical knowledge and talent if she praises you." Taka comments. "Ah, you even have the hundredth seal of strength, truly a talented woman."

"Thank you sir. I'm glad I can use my talents to help anyone I need."

"Yes, we can see that," Yuta chimes in, "But we've also been...warned of your situation. Our apologies for the lose of your husband Mrs. Uzumaki, I couldn't imagine what you must've felt during that time. Its hard to get over that lose of a loved one, I wouldn't know what to do if I lost Taka, but from my understanding, its been a long time since you've practiced?"

Of course they would as, and of course Lady Tsunadae would give them a heads up on my situation and its totally understandable. I'm going to be healing and helping people who've been betrayed, tormented more than once. That's why Tusnade put me in rigorous training before we left months back. I'm ready and I can do this. I promise. "Taka-sama, Yuta-sama, I understand completely and I'm here to assure you I've gone]e through a though training regiment before we embarked on our journey and I am confident in my abilities. I won't let you down"

"Not us, our people. We have faith in you, question is, will you prove it to our people?" Taka folds his arms and let out a small sigh. "We've gone through so much between our own civil wars and others coming here to take our kindness for granted. Our people are hurt and they're suffering. We need your word that you'd make them feel safe."

"You have our word." Neji answered.

"Then you have our support. Now, lets go in and meet our fellow citizens. And do not be offended if some are gawking or a bit...rude. Remember, they've been through some turmoil."

"Of course!" Tenten assured.

As we ventured further into the village, I continued to take in the scenery, more than before. Ruble, dirt, and whatever is left is all that comes to mind. There were barely any stands or shopping stands for food, medicine,etc. On the other-hand, I could defiantly identify things clearly. That building from before must've been the check building for newcomers or roamers, just like back home. And that huge block over there must've been...a home? or an orphanage? Either way, by the way it was built and the size, plus the bed-frames in the piles and piles of ruble, must've housed many people.

"This place looked as if a tornado and a hurricane came through here at the same time..." I heard Tenten say with concern. "These poor people..."

"That's why we're here, to help." Neji commented.

"Right."

Speaking of the people, they were in bad shape. I saw kids Shina's age playing around near the ruble while elders watch. Though they smile, I can see plain as day that the elders were unhappy, maybe depressed. I couldn't blame them either. Living here your whole life in a once beautiful village only to see it turn to ruble because of outside forces taking advantage...having to watch your kids and your kid's kids grow up without seeing how beautiful their land once was. I won't lie, makes me tear up a little.

"Come on now," Yuta motioned us to come closer. "We're almost there, the center of town."

People were secluded into their own worlds, talking to each other and some staring back at us, a group of foreigners being led by their leaders into town. Lets see how this turns out.

When we got to the center, Taka and Yuta rang a bell, my guess, signaling the village folk to the center. Once everyone came and were present, Taka spoke."People of Shimura, do not be alarmed by these travelers. They are here to help us-" Whispering and murmurs broke out as he continued. "'We are fortunate enough to have Jonins and volunteers from the Konohagakure, the leaf village just south from us. We spoke with their Hokagae, Lady Tsunade, and stroke up a deal. She has agreed to help rebuild our village to its former glory, before everything that has happened, happened."

Even more murmurs could be heard as Taka finished his speech. Then a couple of individuals spoke up.

"Not to cast doubt Taka-sama, but haven't we been through this before with others? They said they would help us but look, our children are hungry, how can we trust them?"

As the villager said that last part, I felt a thousand or so eyes fall upon us. I could feel their frustration, anger, sadness, and even fear..? Just what happened here?

"We took that into account and made sure everything will turn out fine. The land of the leaf has a reputation, especially with last Hokagae, may he rest in peace, which is peace. We're tired witnessing our people suffer so we will do whatever it takes."

One of the elders spoke, "Yuta-sama, Taka-sama, I've been here for a century and I do believe in your ability to keep us safe. Even through these rough times, you've kept us. So if you trust these people, I will try to do the same."

"I will try as well!"

"Well, if lady Misako says she will..."

"This might actually be a solid deal."

Both Watanabes smiled at each other and spoke. "If that's the case, let me introduce the jonins." Yuta said while walking over to Neji, Tenten and I. "This is Tenten of Konohagakure, an excellent marks-woman who is regarded as the top weapons kunoichi."

"Hello everyone." she bowed

"Then we have Hyuga Neji of the great Hyuga clan, known for their powerful gental fist technique and equally powerful bayakuga."

"Here to help as much as I can." he bowed as well.

"And finally. Uzumaki-Haruno Sakura, the greatest medical kuniochi in all the land surpassing her teacher, Lady Tsunade, and widow of former hokage of Konohagakure, Uzumaki Naruto."

"Grateful to be of any help."

"Please treat our guest with respect as they stay her for a couple of weeks."

"Stay?" they questioned.

The volunteers that will be working on our buildings will be staying longer but yes, the medical team and construction workers will be staying for some time. Though we're a small village, we need all the help we can get. Are you all alright with this arrangement?" Taka explained.

"Just where will they be staying Taka-sama?"

"They have their own tents and such to set up, do not worry. Is there any more questions?" he explained.

The villagers were silent with questions so Taka and Yuta moved on. "Now that everything is made clear, we'll start the process tomorrow. Taka, go on ahead, I'll go check on everyone who couldn't make it and talk to the villagers more. Show them them campground."

"Sure. " Taka gave Yuta a nod and turned to us. "It was a long journey and I know you all are tired so I'll guide you to your campground. We apologize for not being able to provide a building but...well. You see."

"We understand," a volunteer assured. "We're not looking for special treatment, just hear to help."

"Thank you. We didn't expect this many to come, especially three jonins." Taka praises continued as we got to our campground. "You have our thanks. This is it."

It was a little out from the village, we we're in the middle of a field full of wild flowers, honesty, the first beautiful thing I've seen close to this village.

"We hope you like it." he said.

"Mmm this is prefect, thank you." Tenten replied.

"Then I'll leave you all to it."

"Its a little isn't it? The village?" Tenten asked me. After setting up, we both wanted to take a walk before resting for the day.

"Yeah... I remember when our village was destroyed by Pein, everyone was devastated... but with everyone working together, in no time, we recovered. but here..." I fix my gaze on the village once more. There's not a lot of people here that could help. They're either injured or..."

"Which is why we're here." I feel her hand on my shoulder and gives me a warm smile. "To help then any way we can."

"Yeah..."

"Now come on, we got a lot to do tomorrow, especially you." she giggled and went on a head.

She was right, the co-head of the medical team, I have a lot of people to try and heal. And a lot to prove to Lady Tsunade...and to myself. Our private conversation before our departure came running back into my mind.

_"Sakura-san, you're definatly on your way to getting back to where you once were, but you're not quite there yet. You're not making basic mistakes anymore...but still. I'm worried."_

_"You don't have to worry! I know_ _I__ haven't practiced and neglected medical ninjitsu for some years but I got this. The training really put me back into my groove and-"_

_"Sakura." she sighed heavily. "You know exactly what I'm worried about. You're still thinking about him aren't you? When you were healing the fish, I saw you, you were shaky, unsure if you were actually helping. That's dangerous if you ever tried that on a patient."_

_"...I-I know..."_

_"Its been years, I know a death like his can impact a person's well-being. But you said you can handle this."_

_"I can."_

_"Prove me wrong then. You provide these villagers with best care without any mistakes. Don't make me regret bringing you on this mission. I'll be present later on in the week so I'm expecting to hear good things. Got it?"_

_"Yes ma'am."_

as I turned to exit, she spoke one more time. _"Sakura..."_

_"Yes?"_

_"Your anxiety..if it gets too much, you can pull out. Just tell me-"_

_"Thank you Lady Tsunade..but I got this."_

_"Mmm."_

**I got this.**


	28. Chapter 27

"_Mom_,_ before you go... here."_

_"W-Wha..?"_

_"It's a picture booklet Hanami, Arashi, and I made so you won't feel lonely when you're away. Hanami drew the cover while Arashi glued. I.. wrote something at the end."_

_"Oh Shina-chan..."_

_"Don't read it unless you get really lonely ok? We love you mom."_

_"...I love you guys."_

"Sakura, you ready-oh. What do you have there?"

"Oh, yeah sorry Tenten, i was just looking at this. My kids gave it to me before I left. I kind of feel guilty for leaving them considering..."

"Sakura, you've got to stop beating yourself up over this. You're beating a dead horse at this point. Shinachiku, Hanami, and Arashi all support you. don't feel bad for trying to get your life together."

"yeah..you're right. sorry."

"It's ok. come on, lets get this day started."

"Right."

"Finally, you two are ready. We got a long day ahead of us so lets get started."

"Yeah yeah, lighten up Neji, you're acting like we took five hundred years to get ready."

"Sure as hell seemed like it."

'Such a beautiful day...' Just as I saw yesterday, the wild flowers blooming just outside the village's walls looked so captivating. So beautiful and free..may sound a bit weird in my head , but looking at them makes me feel a sense of calmness. I wonder if the villagers feel the same? Defiantly have to ask someone later.

"Don't act so stiff with the villagers either. Show a friendly smile."

"Tenten, after all these years, even though we've been married for almost a decade, you've still haven't noticed a change in heart? I've became..._softer_ years ago."

"For the better..."

"What was that?"

I watched and giggled at their light banter. Neji and Tenten really we're made for each other.

"Huh? You say something Sakura?" Tenten turned to ask me. I guess she heard my laughter.

"Nothing...but I do want to say thank you for allowing me on this volunteer mission with the both of you. It means a lot."

"Hey, no problem. if there's anything we can do to help, you know we'd do it." Tenten assured me.

"Exactly. And since we're on the subject, Sakura, if you feel the need to get some air because of your anxiety, let us know."

"Thanks Neji. I think I got it though."

He smirked at me. "Hmph, if you say so."

"Good morning everyone! I hope everyone had a good nights rest." Taka greeted us with his partner Yuta beside him.

"No complaints here!" Someone from our group assured the two leaders. "We're energized and ready to get down to business.'

"Good." Yuta chimed in, "I'm sure our people feel the same way. Taka, lets split the group and let them know what's going on?"

"Right! Those of you volunteering for reconstruction, please follow me. I'll fill you all in on everything you need to know about houses and their structures and such."

"And those of you who will help with the sick and shut in, follow me."

Everyone said their temporary goodbyes and started to split into their respective groups.

"I'll see you two around lunch later, be careful. " TenTen said to us.

"We will, be seeing you." stated Neji.

"Mhm.. And Sakura-san?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Don't fret too much. I know it's been a long time since you've been in the field but you got this. I-_we_-believe in you."

"I... yes. I won't. I'll be ok. Thank you, TenTen."

She gave Neji a kiss and both of us a hug and went over to her group.

"Alright everyone, follow me." Taka shouted and lead the group further down the road.

"So this is all the medical volunteers right?" Yuta asked. "If that's the case, then please follow me to our hospital, or rather whats left of it."

As we were walking, Neji grabbed my attention and we started conversating. "It's true, she does believe in you very much."

"What?" I inquired. "About my abilities?"

"Not just that. About you getting over your depression, anxiety, moving on. She's always believed in your abilities, especially when we were teenagers."

"Oh. Well, she's always expressed that but these days, I wished I believed in myself as much as she believes in me. Not saying that that's the case now with my medical skills, obviously if it was, I wouldn't be here, but the other stuff.."

"The other stuff?" He questioned.

"My depression and anxiety. I'm not 'over it' so to say. I'm just managing them. But it's really hard and some days, I wake up and get scared. Scared that I may-"

"Lose that control?" He interrupted.

"...Yes."

"I see. Listen Sakura, I can't tell you how to manage it all or tell you what to do. But what I can do is be there. Which reminds me, I apologize for not being all the way there when you needed people."

"Neji, you don't have to apologize for that. I pushed away everyone that was trying to help me not the other way around. In fact, I'm sorry I pushed you away. I know you and TenTen just wanted to help me."

"Tenten especially. She always wanted to do more but she didn't know just how to do it."

"Well, just knowing how much she cares is enough for me. These past few months, I've learned that I have a process and I have to do this by myself. I'd love the support but think this is a journey I have to do by myself, you?"

"I can understand that. But, you know we'll be here if you need us during that process." he remarked.

"Thanks, Neji."I smirked.

After catching up with Neji, i noticed we we're coming up on a small building, next to it multiple tents and bedding. Please don't tell me this is the hospital..?

"Well, everyone, this it, our village hospital. Like I said, it wasn't much, not like it used to be, but its efficient and has kept people alive. But, we need better for my people. Please, follow me."

Yuta lead us down the..'hall' of the hospital explaining to us our patients' conditions and such. As he explained, I took a peak in some open tents as we passed by and noted that it was mostly minor injuries that I could tell from my medical eye.

"This the south wing of our clinic. This is where our minor injuries and cases are. Ranging from a simple cold to cut and or bruises, this is where you will find them. All those with basic training, you sit your stuff aside and our doctors and nurses will be briefing you on everyone's conditions and how you can help. The advanced medical team, you can follow me." He commanded.

We walked further up the trail and I immediately noticed there were way less tents but more staff. I wonder how serious the advanced cases are?

"Alright, this is the north wing. This where all of our life threatening cases lay. As you most likely noticed, we do have fewer tents than the south wing and there's a reason. As you can see, our conditions allows more cuts and bruises than anything right? But, for a while now, there's been a rare but deadly disease going around, very fatal in children. Due to our limited resources, we don't know what is causing it and we do not have a cure. However, we did manage to make a medicine to temporarily cause some relief to them. Come over and take a look." Yuta motioned for us to take a look in one of the tents. He opened it up so all could see.

"This young boy is named Kai. As you can see, he has a bad rash all over his body, appearing on his face, legs, upper and lower abdomen. The rash itches and burns the skin and overall, makes the whole process very uncomfortable and...painful."

"My God.." someone from behind muttered.

"Rai, come here please." Yuta called upon him and turned back to us. "Mr. Hao here has been treating him for the longest and has tried his best to find the cure. So far, we haven't found anything, but like I said before, we managed to make something to help it calm down. You can take it from here, Rai."

"Thank you, Yuta-sama. My name is Rai Hao. As you know, I've been trying to find a cure for this virus but with the resources we have and limited knowledge about the virus, we haven't had any luck. With that being said, I'm glad to see Konoha's best is here to help my people recover. I'm sure Yuta-sama has given you all a run down on our patients' symptoms. Are there any questions you'd like to ask?

"Yes," Neji spoke. "Do we know how the virus is passed around?"

"Its hard to say. It's a rare disease, only some of our kids are getting it. For example, Kai was around three other children when he caught the virus. But, somehow only he and another, who has already passed, were affected. We don't know if it was something they ate or touched. All we know is that we got to stop this thing before it spreads."

"Mr. Hao." I spoke up.

"Yes?"

"Do you know if those two kids had any connections? Blood type, medical history,something?"

"We haven't determined that yet because we don't even know where it comes from nor how it spreads."

"But it could be worth looking into. Could give us a lead." Yuta insisted. "Nice work Mrs. Uzuzmaki."

"Mrs. Uzuzmaki? Wife of the late Uzumaki Naruto, student of the legendary Lady Tsunade?" Mr. Hao.

I giggled a little at his shocked expression. "In the flesh. very nice to meet you Mr. Hao."

"T-The pleasure is all mine!"

"Don't get too excited Rai." Yuta joked.

"Y-Yes of course. I just didn't expect someone with such expertice to come. Ah forgive.."

"It's fine." I assured him.

"Alright, now that everyone is is briefed on our situation, lets go back down to the south wing, my staff down there are a bit overworked. My advanced patients had a long day yesterday and I and want them to rest."

"Of course." Before I could walk away, Yuta asked both Neji and I to stay back.

"Yes sir?"Neji inquired?

"This will only be a second. Lady Tsunade has informed me of both your abilities. I want to find out what this and how to stop it."

"And you can count on us to do that." I spoke.

"Glad I can."


End file.
